Whirled Views with Dan Burrell

Yesterday, while teaching Sunday school, the issue of “Greenhouses” and over-protecting our kids came up.  I mentioned that I had once written an article on the topic and I’d look it up and re-post it here.  I found it this morning and am doing so now.  I wrote this about four and a half years ago, but I believe it is certainly a valid argument for those who talk about over “sheltering” their kids.

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I love to go to old hardware stores. Several times a year, I go to one of my favorites in downtown China Grove, North Carolina. In the spring, they have their baby chicks out. I usually buy some seed for my garden (whether I need it or not). I can never resist it when I go into a hardware store and they have greenhouse plants out. They just call me. The reason I like this China Grove hardware store is because every spring they offer several different kinds of exotic lettuce like I buy from the organic section from Food Lion. I’m sure the rabbits will get more of it than I do, but you can’t blame a man for trying.

Over the years, I’ve learned that greenhouses are important and very sophisticated places. Ive known several folks who ran wholesale farms and the greenhouses were just incredible. Automatic windows and fans. Climate-controlled temperature and humidity. Auto-sprinklers. I even went to one place where you had to walk through some kind of disinfectant so that you didn’t bring some foreign bacteria into the house on your shoes.

From time to time, I have someone make an argument against Christian schools or sending kids to church or protecting them from certain influences which I call the Hot House or Green House argument. It goes something like this. You’re raising your children in an artificial environment like a greenhouse. But they’ve got to go into the real world sometimes, so you’d better not isolate them. Put them in public schools, don’t force them to go to church, let them stay out late with their friends, don’t be so strict with the curfew things, let them rent R-rated movies and the list goes on and on.

I usually just smile at them and continue on my way. Sometimes I’ll engage them in a little banter by responding like this. Yes, you have a point. I think I’ll go rent a porno movie this evening and watch it with the kids that’s out in the real world too. Or maybe Ill take the young’uns down to the hospital this afternoon and let the TB patients cough on them for a while I mean, hey, you can’t protect them forever, can you? They’re going to get exposed to germs eventually at least I’ll be there! (I think by now, you’re getting my point, right?)

I’m afraid we’ve allowed unbiblical philosophy to sway us away from protecting our kids. Sometimes, I believe, we have over-delegated responsibilities to others that are best performed by parents. As a pastor and an educator, I often urge parents with whom I work to build a greenhouse in their own home.

Proverbs 22:6 tells us to Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it. This is a wonderful proverb given to us in wisdom. Keep in mind that proverbs are principles and not promises. They are guidelines and counsel. You and I both know of some people who were reared in a good Christian home, but as they matured and had the opportunity to accept or reject the truth in which they were schooled, they chose to reject it. But as a principle or guide, children who grow up in the loving, nurturing environment of a home that is committed to Biblical values are more likely to continue in the way they should go as adults than those who don’t get such support and training. But when an adult child chooses to reject Truth, it is less of a reflection on the parent than on the adult child who apparently has not submitted his will to the Lord.

The word train here comes from the Hebrew word hanak, meaning to dedicate”. It conveys an idea of hedging in or narrowing and would often be used in the sense of starting something. Horses are hedged in at the beginning of a race so their start will be fair and so they will be headed in the right direction. Garden plants are started in small, confining containers, under the protected environment of a greenhouse so they will get a good beginning. Climbing vines and roses are placed on a trellis to that they can be guided upward in a beautiful fashion. Godly parenting demands that godly parents get their youngsters off to a good start.

You have to admit, greenhouses are interesting places. They are sophisticated in their design and simple in their goal. By shielding their young charges from cold, disease, heat, drought, pests and other dangers, greenhouses prepare immature plants for life outside the greenhouse. When they are ready, they are transplanted to the real world not too soon just when they can handle its pressures, difficulties and irregularities.

Isn’t that what we as parents should be doing as well? The notion that we should expose our children to the worst that the world has to offer as some sort of preparation for the real world is ludicrous. Yet, many parents push their kids into premature dating, expose their kids to the worst kinds of violence and conduct, sexualize their kids by letting them act and talk sexy and in general abdicate their responsibility to be keepers of the environment which allows our kids to mature before exposing them to the harsh realities of a pretty wicked world.

Lets examine some of the responsibilities of a greenhouse and draw comparisons with our responsibilities with the adult world.

First, greenhouses are to provide protection during early states of development.  Most tender plants are given a nice head start in peat cups and potting soil. This allows them to sprout in safety away from the dangers that will destroy them before they even get started. Such is the approach by the wise parent. Keeping them close to mom and dad, snarling at things that would rob them of their innocence, hiding their impressionable psyches from the cruelness of a fallen creation, we allow them to get a head start on life before having to deal with those things for which they are not ready.

Greenhouses provide shelter from harsh exposures. Do our pre-pubescent kids really need to know the horrors of violence, the draw of sexuality, the raw potential for hatred that exists in the world? Certainly, they will be exposed to it soon enough and sometimes sooner than wed like. But why rush our kids into confrontation with that which scars, desensitizes and devastates?

Timely and measured nutrition are a priority in the greenhouse and should be in the home as well. Measured doses of nutrients, sunlight, moisture and fertilizers are given by conscientious farmers. The wise parent makes sure that their child is given the correct doses of intellectual stimulation, physical exercise and nutrition, emotional support and spiritual instruction. Wed be fools to only see that they get enough to eat, but no love or exercise or academic stimulation. Why is it that many parents, then, neglect completely the need each child has to know there is a God and that He matters? Its nothing short of child-neglect.

Every greenhouse is a monument to the controlled environment. Constant readings and evaluation give guidance. We also should be checking the temperature in our home. How are the attitudes? Is there balance? Have negative influences like too much TV, unhealthy media messages, and over-extension of time crept into our life? Sometimes we need to regulate what is going on in our personal greenhouse.

Much care is given to make sure the plants have developed their roots. Roots give stability, help with sustenance, and are essential for reproduction. Making sure our kids know lifes whys and not simply the whats is essential in giving them roots. It is what guides discernment, encourages stability, promotes continued growth. Good rooting is dependent upon a Worldview that is permeated with the absolute values of Scripture.

Finally, the big day arrives and they are ready for transplanting. Not too soon. Not too late. Gradually, they have been exposed to a greater extreme in exposure to sunlight, temperature and watering. They are now ready to transplant into the yard or garden. The day finally comes when our kids are ready to date, get their first job, go off to school, and invade the world one step at a time. Yet, even during that time, we monitor, guide, check and pray. That’s what good parents are all about.

So, if you’ve bought into the whole “Anti-Greenhouse” philosophy of parenting, I’d challenge you to rethink it. Indeed, a family garden and greenhouse may be what’s best for YOUR kids.

I think I finally have enough things jotted down here and there to do a full-blown “Rant”.  To new readers of this blog, from time-to-time I just unload a rapid-fire list of thoughts, irritations, vents and musings that clears both my chest and my desk.  So here’s my latest…

• I have a bad habit of counting people’s verbal ticks when they talk to me.  One of the most irritating ones is people who say “you know”. Caroline Kennedy’s worst interview when she was thinking about trying for Hillary Clinton’s Senate seat included so many “you know’s” in it that it pretty much ended her hopes of moving to Washington.

• I have my own “ticks”.  Recently I found that when I speak in public, I put my left hand in my pocket all the time.  I need to stop that.  Years ago, I would touch my glasses too frequently, so I had someone count how many times I would do that in a sermon and then would try to reduce that number each week until I had it under control.

• I really hate it when I’m talking to someone and they keep saying, “Know what I mean?” or “Do you hear what I’m saying?” over and over and over again.  I want to scream, “Dude, I’m not deaf!  Of course I hear you.  If I can’t hear you, I’ll let you know.”  It’s also a guise for getting someone to agree with you.  In my head, even when I politely say, “Yes, I hear you”, I’m also thinking, “But I don’t agree with you.”

• I’m generally uncomfortable with the idea of people giving standing ovations to musical numbers performed by “artists” in church.  I don’t mind respectful applause.  I don’t even mind an appreciative “amen”.  But really, do we need to jump to our feet and cheer when someone holds a note for more than ten seconds at the end of a Southern Gospel song or does more runs than a jackrabbit at the end of a Gospel number?

• I’m seriously considering scheduling a technology fast from time to time in my life.  So much of my work is done via computer and blackberry anymore, I’d like to experience the solitude of a day or two without running to the internet every few minutes.  I think I’ll call it going “techno-Amish”.

• Mark my word, if Obamacare passes, we will be having the same conversations regarding euthanasia within a generation as we’ve been having regarding abortion.  That’s not a prophecy; that’s a promise.  When the government has to choose who gets the kidney transplant, a 60-year-old grandma or a 16-year-old kid, whom do you think “loses?”

• I feed a little flock of ducks that gather on my porch and peck at my glass door until I give them bread.  They were so cute when they were little.  Last week, I opened the door to feed them and they all ran into my house and pooped on the floor and pecked my toes.  Kind of reminds me what the government does once you invite them into your back yard.  Next thing you know, they are sitting in your living room telling you to quit eating potato chips, vaccinate your daughters, buy a smaller car and that you make too much money.  Then they poop on your floor.

• Every time that I drive by some little white-knuckled, bespectacled whimpy fellow driving a Prius Hybrid up I-75, I get a little thrill by blowing past him in my gigantic suburban.  Hybrid drivers always just act so smug and buttoned-down.  Kind of like the kid in junior high who wore bryll-cream and his top shirt button buttoned and who took names when the teacher left the room.  He just kind of makes you want to shove him in a locker or hang him by his belt loops on the back of a door.

• I think Glenn Beck is one of the most mentally unstable conservatives on the air today.  And THAT’S saying something.  I’m shocked that he’s not a liberal as irrational and hysterical as he can be at times.

• I think Professor Gates from Harvard set race relations back a decade last month.

• At the same time, I’ve met some over-the-top obnoxious cops and government employees who think they possess all the authority in the world and aren’t afraid to flaunt it.  They do make you want to scream at them.  But if I did it, you bet I’d get arrested and the President wouldn’t invite me over for any (root) beer, you can be sure.

• Why is it that when Christians vote in a block for someone or in supporting a party, they are labeled, “simple”, “unthinking”, “sheeple”, etc…  But when Hispanics support a Supreme Court nominee simply because she’s Hispanic or when Blacks support Obama simply because he’s black — even though in each case the candidate represents a different philosophy than they hold — it’s considered understandable and even “historic.”  (Note:  I voted against Jimmy Carter and didn’t vote for Mike Huckabee — both whom are evangelicals.)

• The office of Pastor is undergoing such rapid changes due to the demands and expectations of the postmodern generation that I can’t keep up with it.  Frankly, I don’t see much Biblical basis in the changes.

• I’m as uninspired by the Republicans today as I was the day I decided to switch to “unaffiliated” last Spring.

• “Nothing could be finer than to live in Carolina….”

• McDonald’s Sweet Tea is an overlooked treasure in the Fast-Food world.

• I wish Florida Senator Mel Martinez was running for re-election so I could vote against him.

• Same thing goes for Florida Governor Charlie Crist.

• This year’s Big Brother 11 is DULL.

• I cannot bring myself to watch a single minute of the Bachelor/Bachelorette no matter how little is on TV during the summer time.

• I think I think too much.  I almost never listen to music because when I can understand the lyrics — I usually disagree with them, over-analyze them and find them philosophically or theologically unsound.

• I am grateful for Facebook.  It has revealed to me that my quarter century of ministry has not been a total waste of time.

• Facebook has also reminded me that often the kids you think are beyond hope are often the ones in which you should have the most hope.

• Why do tomato growers not comprehend that we’d rather have tasty tomatoes than pretty tomatoes?  So quit gassing green tomatoes to make them sickly red and figure out a way to ship ripe tomatoes that are edible when they get to the market.

• So the government is giving people $4,500 to trade in the “clunker” just like they permitted people who didn’t qualify for a mortgage to get houses they couldn’t afford.  And like the trained monkeys we’ve become, Americans are mobbing auto dealerships getting new tin-can cars and monthly payments they didn’t previously have.  Shall we now place bets on how many of those cars get re-possessed in the next six months?  No thanks, I’ll continue to drive one of my 100,000+ mileage cars with no payments.  I hope everyone’s grandchildren enjoy paying for the debt we’re wracking up with assinine gimmicks like this.

• I do sort of wish there was a cash-for-big-ol’-honkin’-TV’s exchange so I could get a kewl LCD or Plasma flatscreen.

• I don’t care how old I get, I’ll never really figure out most people.

• I don’t care how great a speaker a guy is, I’m really not interested in going to church for a video sermon.  I think I’ll just wait until it comes out on You Tube or free TV or just not at all.

• It seems like since the TV stations switched to digital that my television reception has gotten worse.  I’m always getting these little weird looking boxes that look like a pay-per-view scrambler in the middle of my regular shows.

• I’ve had to delete several bullet points on this list because they just sound too snitty and I’ve been in kind of a foul mood.  So glad that I’m at least coherent enough to delete them.

That’s all folks!

I’ve been rather gratified with the response I’ve received on Part 1 of this article via blog comments, Facebook comments (my blog articles are automatically posted on Facebook) and private emails.  It has actually been linked on several blogs and discussion boards as well.  So today, I’m going to continue with my thoughts on this topic.  If you haven’t read Part 1 as of yet, you may do so by clicking HERE.

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6. Your Pastor probably views you differently than you view him.

Being someone’s pastor is actually a very intimate experience.  If your pastor is a good one — he loves you.  He’s been there during some of your most difficult moments.  He’s caught tears, perhaps had to be the one to tell you difficult news, has seen you at your best and at your worst.  You may have confided some personal things in him that are known only to you, him and God as you work through the consequences of sin, personal tragedies and other pains.  He has invested his heart and soul in you by praying for you, weeping with you, perhaps even putting your needs ahead of his or his family’s at times.

Then a church down the street calls a new pastor, builds a new building or offers a service style that you find a bit more appealing and you switch as if you were changing from Wal-Mart to Target or finding a new chiropractor.  And of course, people are going to ask “why” and often excuses like “We’re just not being fed” or “Our needs aren’t being met” or “We just need a change” are offered.  For you, it’s a new adventure.  For him, it feels painfully like rejection.

That’s not to say that there are no good reasons for changing churches.  It doesn’t justify those renegade pastors who then grow angry and defensive and say unkind things.  It doesn’t mean that you are leaving God’s will for you life necessarily and are making the first step on a trek toward leaving the faith.  But it does hurt.  Pastors are human too.  And while you may see him as a distant leader or provider of services, if he knows you personally, he probably sees you more like family or a friend.  It’s simply a difference in roles and perspective and you might never understand that.  Sometimes where you stand on things depends on where you sit.  But I think you should know — pastors usually see their church members differently than they are viewed by their church members.

7. Pastors sometimes find it difficult to have friendships.

For better or for worse, there is a celebrity element to being a pastor.  If you don’t believe that then check out the New Testament account of those who were “Paul fans” verses those who liked Apollos.  A wise pastor resists being viewed as “special”, but this tendency is why humility in leadership is so necessary.  Any celebrity, politician or person of wealth will tell you that one of the greatest frustrations is that one never knows which friendships are genuine.  There is always the difficulty in knowing who is genuinely a friend or who is simply there to exploit their position or fame or influence.  Pastors struggle with this on several levels.  Some pastors purposefully choose not to be friends with people in their congregation — it’s too risky in their opinion.  Some pastors refuse to have friendships with their staff — they are afraid it will hurt objectivity, communicate favoritism or just simply be too complicated.  Some pastors have been burned by past friendships and thus become almost reclusive and over-guarded.  Some pastors naturally migrate toward friendships exclusively with peers — fellow pastors who can relate to the unique role and scrutiny being a pastor encompasses.

Several years ago,  a pastor of a large and prestigious church in the same city where I was a pastor had a very close friend as a church member.  A local seeker-sensitive church in town “caught fire” and all of us were experiencing mass migrations out of our pews to the new “cool/hip” church.  His church was among those hardest hit.  But then his very best friend, the person who had introduced him to the church before he was pastor, his closest confident, took him to lunch and let him know that he was leaving for the new “fellowship”.  The pastor said all the perfunctory things about following the Lord, etc… and then went to his already scheduled staff meeting.  After he opened with prayer, he looked at his team of pastors — broke down in wracking sobs, explained what had just happened, apologized and excused himself.  I wish that wasn’t the only story like this that I’ve heard, but I’ve got many more — people meeting privately for the “dismissal” of their pastor, people trying to arrange financial gain/business with the church, people who expected their sins to be covered and undealt with — all while claiming “friendship”.

I don’t have any solutions to this.  I’ve experienced it personally.  I don’t know of many pastors who haven’t.  It is what it is.  But maybe it will give you some insight into your Pastor’s world.

8. Your pastor may well be different out of the pulpit than when he’s in the pulpit and that doesn’t necessarily make him a hypocrite.

I’ve laughed over the years at how people often describe me — outgoing, super confident, “people person”, extrovert.  I can understand why they would say that, but they don’t know the “real me”.  The “real me” is actually rather shy, mostly an introvert, hopes that the people in the seat next to him in the airplane go to sleep and don’t want to talk, am a veritable cauldron of insecurities and often would rather have a quiet evening at home with his family or a book than be with a large group of people.  So why do they suddenly go “electric” when they walk behind the lectern?  It’s a God thing.  It’s His gift, His calling, His annointing — whatever you want to call it.  Moses experienced it.  Coarse Peter overcame his own proclivities.  Odd John the Baptist certainly got beyond his idiosycracies enough that he was heard.  The delivery of the Gospel is never about the man, but always about the message — so don’t get too enamored or distracted by the amplification system.

Some of my most important spiritual moments have regularly been before I preached on a topic that God had led me to address, but on which I was still struggling.  Your pastor probably doesn’t sleep in a suit, sing praise choruses before every meal and memorizes Spurgeon and the Reformers in lieu of watching Reality TV.  He has morning breath, he sometimes fusses with his wife, he yells at the kids when they forget to take the dog out and he steps in a wet spot on the carpet, gets frustrated in heavy traffic and might have a secret affinity for Roller Coasters or deer hunting or restoring old cars.  In other words — he’s just a regular guy.  He certainly isn’t perfect.  But if he’s a good pastor, he’s earnest and sincere and also man enough to admit his faults and make them right when he needs to do so.

Take time to get to know your pastor as a person before you make huge assumptions about him as a “professional”.  You might be shocked at how much like you he really is even though your callings are different.

9. Your Pastor has bills too.

This area is touchy.  There’s nothing like a conversation about money to get people stirred up.  Let me just say this.  Scripture is very clear that spiritual leadership should be supported by the tithes and offerings of the people who benefit from and need their ministry.  It’s God’s plan.  Paul referenced it as the “double honor”.  Someday, your pastor will need a home to live in that isn’t owned by the church.  There will come a day when he will need, because of age or infirmity, to transition out of being a full-time pastor so he needs a retirement strategy.  (There are few things sadder than a pastor who has faithfully served a congregation for years and years who can’t “afford” to retire and thus inflicts himself on a poor church or has to beg for “meetings” because he has no income.  Many pastors foolishly opt out of Social Security and when it comes time to fund their 403b retirement plans, they get cut because of tight budgets.)  Your pastor’s kids need to go to college.  There are weddings that need to be paid for, children that need braces, cars that need repaired.

Please don’t demean him by noting every purchase he makes, vacation he takes or gift he receives with a “It must be nice to be in the ministry to be able to afford that!” or “I guess that explains that special offering last month!” or some other witty little cutting remark that puts him on the defensive.  It’s unkind and petty.  Stop it.  Instead, show some maturity and say something like, “Wow….I’m so pleased that God has blessed you and provided that for you.  If anyone deserves it — you do!” and then notice how you are blessed for rejoicing with those who are rejoicing and how he is blessed in receiving your kind words.

If you think your pastor is a crook, given to filthy lucre, too wealthy — then confront him Biblically or shut up.  If you are a church leader and wonder what is appropriate compensation, may I recommend a study that is produced each year called the “Church Compensation Report” and HERE’s the link to it.

Finally, I want to state for the record that all three of the churches where I have ministered have been a genuine blessing to me and my family in this regard.  They very generously honored us with a living wage, they gave me freedom to write, teach and speak which allowed me to squirrel away money for life’s unexpected or bigger expenses as they came and provided me with the necessary tools for ministry.  I wish every pastor was treated as I have been treated in the matter of financial support.

10.  Your pastor loves the work of the ministry.

You might say, “duh” — but I would ask, how many people do you know who really, deep down inside, would like to be doing something else as a vocation?  If you are like me — a ton.  Preaching the Gospel, seeing people accept Christ, watching lives transformed by Truth, seeing healing and reconciliation occur in families — wow….that’s just the best.

Over the years, I have wearied over the administrative load of ministry.  I do not get excited about trying to get budgets to balance, dealing with maintenance issues, making sure that risk-management is taken into consideration every time we start a new initiative and dealing with governmental and even church bureaucracy and politics.  But that’s simply the price a pastor pays for being able to stand up, open the Word of God and share what the Holy Spirit has laid on his heart for that day.  I can be absolutely exhausted, frustrated, depressed or overwhelmed, but the moment I crack open my Bible before a group of people ready to hear — I realize once again that I’m doing what I was created to do.  Whether you pastor a mega-church, lead a Sunday School class, host a home Bible study or simply leading your family in devotions — when you are called to the ministry of the Word, everything is as it should be every time you get the chance.  It simply doesn’t get much better than that!

I’m going to stop here.  I know I have not exhausted the list, but I’ve probably exhausted you.  I would invite pastors to add additional points if you’d like to do so.  You may forward, link, print, copy or otherwise use these articles as they would bless you or others.  The purpose in writing this has not been to complain, but to explain.  Pray for your pastor today — or even right now.  I’m guessing he’s already been praying for you.

Expecting HIS Best……Dan

In the last week, I’ve spent time talking with three pastors who are about ready to throw in the proverbial towel.  Each case is different and no two pastors, churches, boards or any other “part” of church leadership is exactly the same, but what is common among them is a sense of deep despair.  Sadly, in the last week, I’ve also heard of two colleagues in the ministry who ended their ministry with a catastrophic failure — one of them a rising evangelical leader who admitted to an affair.  Not in every case, but in some cases, I’ve noticed a correlation to the thought processes between those who burnout in ministry and those who “flame out” due to sin.  But whether you burnout, flame out, drop out or rust out — out is still out.

I am now two years beyond my own decision to step away from the Senior Pastorate, so I hope I can be a bit more objective about a topic like this than I might have been 24 short months ago.  As for my own situation, I had my own reasons for changing the nature of my ministry and I am not looking back.  For the cynical or others, nothing I write in this article should be construed as anything more or less than what it is — an opinion piece from someone who has sat on both sides of the pulpit for the last 25 years of ministry and who is still engaged in pastoral ministry — just from a different perspective in recent months.

I don’t pretend to write for every pastor out there, but I spend a lot of time with pastors and former pastors.  There are some trends that are impacting pastoral leadership at this time that I think impact churches and their leaders.  There are some frailties and vulnerabilities that any man called to be a pastor is naturally going to carry into his responsibilities.  Add to that the spiritual warfare that is incumbent upon being a spiritual shepherd (or undershepherd).  It is with these realities in mind that I offer some things that I’m guessing your pastor wishes you knew about him.

1. Bible College and Seminary Weren’t Enough

I don’t care where your pastor went to school, they did not and could not possibly prepare him for all that a pastor faces.  Today’s pastor must be an extraordinary communicator, an effective administrator, somewhat astute to legalities and business procedures, a counselor, a therapist and a dozen other roles that today’s high-expectation church member often expects from their pastor.

Though many will say that’s what boards and staff are for, that thinking simply isn’t based in reality.  The expectation is that the Pastor should be able to protect the church, lead the church, inspire the church and manage the church.  Failure to function in those four primary departments may jeopardize the support level he enjoys from the congregation.

Much of the experience and expertise in those areas needs to be learned and earned over time.  That fact has lead me to a personal conclusion that we should discuss pastoral internships more seriously in seminaries and church leadership circles.

2. Good Sermon Preparation Takes Time

If your pastor is going to accurately and thoroughly present the Word to your congregation, he must have study time.  The best pastors and Bible teachers will tell you that for every one hour of teaching or preaching, about eight hours of study is optimum.  Your pastor may make it look simple, but it isn’t.  Typically, your pastor may need 3-4 fresh preparations in a week (particularly if he speaks outside the church a lot or if he is a solo pastor.)

It is not realistic to expect your pastor to attend every function, make every hospital visit, lead every meeting, make an appearance at every social, go to every shut-in and still be brilliant in the pulpit 2-3 times per week.  A pastor should be about leading and shepherding and equipping the church for the work of the ministry.  Certainly every pastor should attend “some” functions, make hospital visits on occasion, attend important meetings, drop in a socials when possible and take the time to minister to the shut-ins — but to heap all of those responsibilities (plus the administration of the church, personal growth exercises and other important tasks) is not just unreasonable, it is inhumane.

If each Bible study teacher, each deacon, each elder, each staff member took some of these responsibilities, everyone and everything would be covered and all would be blessed as they fulfill their spiritual giftedness in the work of the ministry.

3.  His Family is Important Too

Your pastor needs time with his children and spouse.  If his marriage fails, his ministry is likely over.  If his kids don’t turn out right, his grief will be deep, his regrets will be suffocating and his reputation will be diminished.  You will bless your pastor and your church by freeing him to be with his family.

For years, I’ve often told my pastors to look at their day in three parts — Morning, Afternoon and Evening — each comprised of about 4 hours.  On average, it is reasonable to expect that those in the ministry will work at least 14-16 “parts” over a week’s time.   That way, we should have at least 5 - 7 morning/afternoons/nights available for family time.  Remember that a pastor who preaches and teaches the Word is working — it isn’t the same as sitting in the pew.  It is physically exhausting and emotionally draining.  Most pastors go into “Sunday mode” on Saturday evening and aren’t much of a “family guy” then.  If they have a Saturday night service, move that “mode” to Saturday around noon.

According to that formula, your pastor needs one full day off and 2-4 evenings free.  If he can’t get those evenings free, then he should take a morning or an afternoon when he can to compensate for the lost evenings.

Another blessing you might share with your pastor is to give him a gift card for dinner out on his birthday or at Christmas or if you own a condo at the beach or a vacation home in the mountains, offer to let him take his family there for a few days.  These small tokens can be a fresh encouragement when relationships get neglected.  Being able to run to a restaurant with your spouse and pay for it with a gift card is a double blessing.

In cases of extreme crisis — a wayward child, substantial marriage difficulty — be willing to send your pastor to professional help, a retreat or some intervention.  If you don’t think pastors ever have family problems, then you are naive.  This is a great time to practice the Golden Rule and ask one’s self what they would appreciate if the roles were reversed.  The investment of giving your pastor a week or even a month off to deal with a family crisis is far cheaper than the process of kicking him to the curb and looking for a new pastor — not to mention more Biblical.

4.  Be Kind if You Have a Criticism

Your pastor is going to make some mistakes.  I certainly made my share of bone-headed decisions over the years.  And, if the truth be told, sometimes the pastor won’t see them as quickly as everyone else does.  No pastor has a corner on the Truth and no pastor is above criticism, correction or simple advice.  But when you approach your pastor with something you’re concerned about, address the problem without attacking the person.

Pastoring is interesting in that no decision a pastor ever makes is received positively by everyone.  That would also include no sermon, no vision, no counsel, no strategy, no hire, no building campaign and the list goes on and on.  So before bringing your offense to the pastor, it would wise to pause and ask yourself, “Is this important enough to complain about or to place on the pastor’s mind?”  Some things are — certainly things that deal with Theology, ethics, morality and legal matters should be addressed.  Some things simply aren’t — personal peeves and preferences, gossip, many traditions and irritations.

Some pastors, when faced with the cacophony of criticisms, suggestions, problems and hissy fits they regularly confront, simply shut down — overwhelmed by the torrent and unable to prioritize, distinguish and discern what is legitimate and what is simply whining.  Others will respond defensively at first, but after a while, the Holy Spirit guides them to acknowledgement of the validity of the issue.  A stiff-necked and unapproachable pastor will soon lose credibility and will probably require a confrontation initiated by spiritual leadership with the church.  But it is wise for all of us to measure our words correctly and to do as the Scripture tells us and “entreat as a brother” as opposed to rebuking an  elder with hostility, demands or threats.

5. Give Your Pastor Time to Grow

Sadly, the average term (depending on several factors) of a pastor in America today is somewhere between 2 and 5 years.  Yet, all the research tells us that a pastor’s most effective years take place after the 10th year of ministry at a congregation.  It is not until a pastor marries, buries, cries and works with a majority of his congregation that he can really “connect” intimately with them as a family member might.  Relationships simply take time — most of us who are married realize that the longer one is married the more we learn about patience, perseverance and unconditional love.

This is particularly true if you have a young pastor.  I was twenty-nine when I became a Senior Pastor.  Thankfully, our church was rather small (fewer than 300) at the time.  The Lord tremendously blessed and in short order the church doubled in size and then went on to triple.  But the growing pains that we went through together were extraordinary.  How they put up with me for a decade, I’ll never know.  I was so blessed to have some of the most wonderful and Godly elders surrounding me that I’ve ever known.  They encouraged, counseled, cautioned and sometimes just let me go and in the process — I learned and the Lord blessed.  They let me grow up and grow deep and though I was the youngest among them, they respected my position while offering me wise and Godly counsel.  I love them to this day.  I’m grateful for their patience.

Your pastor will make some bone-headed decisions.  Sometimes you’ll be frustrated with how he arranges his priorities or handles problems.  Sometimes you’ll have to clean up his messes and occasionally, you might have to speak earnestly and honestly with him.  But like rearing children, dealing with aging parents, settling in to married life or maintaining a life-long friendship — it takes time and patience and grace.

I’m out of time, but not out of thoughts.  I’ll pick this up in a few days with some more thoughts.  I’d encourage any pastors who read this blog to share their thoughts or experiences as well.  Until next time….

Wow…it was a busy day in New York City.  We started off at Ellis Island, then on to Battery Park, a walking tour of the financial district and Ground Zero and then lunch at Seaport.  Then we went over to Chinatown where we spent a few hours negotiating for “stuff”, followed be a brief visit to SoHo.  Following a wonderful Italian dinner at Carmine’s, we went to the 67th floor of Rockefeller center and viewed the sun setting over Manhattan.  Then everyone went off to the movies and by everyone, I don’t mean me.  I decided to go back to the hotel to grade some paper and post these pics.  The kids will be a bit tireder (hopefully) when they get back after midnight and maybe we’ll get them to bed sooner.

Tomorrow is a movie/TV tour, visit to 5th Avenue, some more shopping and then off to the airport to get back home so we can get this class graduated.  It’s been a great trip and we have some super students and a fine group of chaperones.  Here are some pictures of our day….

On the ferry on the way over to Ellis Island with a beautiful view of the skyline in the background.

Megan and I with the gap left by the lost Twin Towers in the background.

Waiting for dinners outside of Carmine’s Italian Restaurant where we had salad, garlic bread, two kinds of pasta, chicken parmigiana and Italian ice cream.  If you left hungry, it was your own fault.

 Haydon, Manny and Brandon enjoyed their meal.

Christian and Alex made for great table mates as well.

Dad enjoying the perks of being a chaperon on the trip — dinner with his daughter!

I’ve enjoyed making friends with many of our fine students — particularly, Steven from Ecudor!

Thursday was a beautiful day in our nation’s capital and the DCS Class of 2009 had a jam-packed day.  We started the morning touring the Museum of American History, Ford Theater and then the Holocaust Museum.  We then traveled to Arlington Cemetery where we saw the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, the Lee Mansion and the Kennedy Graves.  After that we hustled back to the mall and took in the Lincoln, Vietnam and Korean memorials.  By 6:30, we were at the stadium to watch the Nationals play the Pirates.  I was able to enjoy a private dinner with Megan who was celebrating her 18th birthday at a restaurant that had a veranda overlooking center field.  The evening was beautiful and she even had her picture taken with one of the National mascots.  Then we hustled back to the hotel and let the kids go swimming for about 90 minutes to burn off any excess energy.

Friday was filled with our trip to the White House, the Capitol, the Pentagon Mall and several other monuments.  Saturday was spent all day at Six Flags in New Jersey before we drove in to near New York (we are staying in Newark, NJ).

This morning started with a church service at the hotel and then we drove to the Metropolitan Museum of Art.  Some also went over to Central Park to ride bikes or take a walk.  Then it was off to the Lion King which was a real highlight for many of our students.  After that, we visited Madam Toussand’s wax museum, at at Hard Rock Cafe and then did some shopping in a jam-packed Times Square.

Tomorrow, we start off at Ellis Island and the Statue of Liberty before heading to Chinatown, Carmine’s for dinner and several other fun stops.  Apart from a few runny noses, the occasional bout of teen “drama” and having a bunch of tired people moving from place to place, everyone is getting along great and we’re having a super time.  Below are a few more pics for your viewing pleasure.

Waiting for the lecture to begin at Ford Theater.

Our Class Office with some of the soldiers who were placing 250,000 flags on the graves in Arlington.  Many of our students stopped soldiers that they saw and thanked them for their service to our country.

The name in the center, Richard F. Waterfield, is on the Vietnam Memorial Wall and is my second cousin.  I remember him spending a day with us at our family lot on the lake right before he left for Vietnam where he was killed a few months later.  The war memorials always remind me of how many brave young people are killed in wars that are often valid and other times the result of egomaniacs, twisted worldviews and a variety of other stupid reasons.  Freedom isn’t free and to see all these names is sobering as we realize their sacrifice.

My daughter, Megan, took this picture of one of our seniors, Brandon Rosado as he looked at the names on the walls.

The Seniors enjoyed a BEAUTIFUL night at the ballpark.

We had a bird’s eye view of the game.

Megan and I enjoyed dinner on the terrace as we celebrated her 18th birthday and “George” even came by to give her a birthday hug.

We had a long wait for the Marine Band and Parade.

The Iwo Jima Memorial was one of the highlights of our last day in DC and the students made friends with several marines who were there paying their respects.

Times Square tonight — wall to wall people!

I just spent the last hour trying to get pictures of today’s Senior Trip excursion up.  When I clicked on “publish”, everything completely and totally disappeared.  I’m sorry to all the DCS folks who were looking to see a chronology here and we’re working on getting things fixed.  Hopefully, tomorrow I can get something posted for everyone.  If you have facebook, I’m trying to upload an album over there, so you might want to check that out.  As of right now, it’s late and we have a 5:30 wake-up call, so I’m calling it an evening.

We’re are in Washington, DC with 65 of our Seniors from the class of 2009 and had a super busy day.  The trip was smooth, the kids have been great and the weather is perfect.  The only downside is that the city is PACKED with tourists.  Where’s the recession everyone is talking about?

I know some of you are frustrated with my blog website right now.  I’m having a host problem of some sort.  It is taking an extrodinarily long time for the site to connect.  If you wait long enough (which you know by now or you wouldn’t be reading this), it eventually loads, but the wait is maddening.  We’re working to get it fixed.

If you want to follow the kids through the day with text updates, you can “friend” me on facebook or Twitter (@danburrell) and I’ll update that throughout our trip.

Here are some photos from today’s journey….

Waiting for our luggage at Reagan National Airport after a quick 2 hour flight.  The skies were clear so the kids got a great view of the city as we landed alongside the Potomac.

We are using two, very new tour buses to get around the city.  The kids have as much fun on the buses as they do off the buses.

Our first stop was the mall area and the Museum of Natural History and the Air and Space Museum.  Both places were packed with Memorial Day tourists and lots of school groups.  We were scheduled to go the National Archives next, but the 2 hour plus wait was too much for our schedule, so instead, we headed to the White House for an exterior look.  We go inside on Friday.

 This is me with my own “personal” senior….my daughter, Megan, who turns 18 on Thursday.  I was able to take her older brother on his senior trip and I’m really glad I get to be an “administrator/chaperone” for her senior trip as well.  We’re standing, of course, in front of the White House.

Next, it was off to World-Famous Phillip’s Seafood Buffet where they lost some serious money on some of our guys who ate plate after plate of crab legs and other great seafood.

At the end of the day, we were off to the races…go-cart racing that is and there was some NASCAR like action as we worked off the last bit of energy before heading to our hotel.  We arrived there at about 11:00 and by midnight, everyone was settled in.  Tomorrow, we start off at the Museum of American History and end with a baseball game with the Washington Nationals in their new stadium.

Stay tuned tomorrow for more updates.

I’m sorry to keep hitting everyone with links and leftovers today, but I’m multi-tasking and coming across several important things as I do that I feel like I should share.  Todd Rhodes has a popular blog called “Monday Morning Insights” that I often follow.  Today, he asks an important question of pastors and others.  Click HERE to see what it is.

If you haven’t checked out Pyromaniacs today, check out Phil Johnson’s article on “Manly-Men” in the pulpit.  Some great Spurgeon quotes in this article on one of my favorite blogs.