Whirled Views with Dan Burrell

Well, it’s not really for me.  I have a Kindle.  Better yet, I have an Ipad.  That’s why I don’t use my Kindle anymore.  But I know someone who can — my pastor friend in Cuba.  They can’t download books there with Amazon’s “whispernet”, but I can load a TON of theology books in both English and Spanish (he’s bilingual), take it to him, and he can literally have an entire library of hundreds of books on one single E-Reader.  Can you imagine what an amazing tool this could mean for him?

So, I’ve got thirty other Cuban national pastors that we support and work with who barely own a Bible and virtually no theology books.  I started thinking — with Kindles now available for as low as $100, what if I could get 30 friends to send me their old one or buy a new one for a Christmas gift and I could load them with good books and take an entire library for each pastor with me on my next trip in February?  Wouldn’t that be awesome?

Maybe you are like me and had a Kindle, but like the IPad reader better, so you aren’t using it any more.  I’ll be brash — I’d like for you to give me your old one.

Maybe you enjoy doing something nice for someone at Christmas — How about doing something for a guy who makes less than $1 per day and lives in a house with no air or heat or hot water or toilet seat and who has never driven a car and doesn’t have a library and sometimes doesn’t have electricity or running water?  Think that might be something pretty special for them?  I know so!  So order a Kindle (your choice) on Cyber-Monday and send it my way.  I promise you that every single one of them will get to a pastor in Cuba.

Perhaps you can’t afford a Kindle, but you will send an Amazon gift card via email or snail mail.  That would be awesome, because right now, I’m buying all these books on my own.  That would be a big help in any amount.

I promise that 100% of what you give will go directly to Cuba.  Nothing stays here and nothing sticks to me.  It all goes.  Some of you have been tremendous blessings over the years to the Cuban church planters who are part of our ministry.  I have to be very careful about how I report about them or identify them for their own safety, but it would make you cry to hear their stories — at least it always does me.

So think about it — I know it’s brash to ask straight up like this, but it’s not for me and I know how bad they need these kinds of tools there.  I’ve probably got 10,000 books in my two houses and two offices.  They may have 3.  They are better men than I could ever hope to be in ministry — they know suffering every day.  I don’t.  They have cute little kids and sweet wives.  They are real people who weep and worry and hurt.  I want to help them.  Will you join me.

So….send me your Kindle.  It will be a huge blessing to a  wonderful pastor in Cuba.

To contact me: email me @ dburrell@lifecharlotte.com or you can send your Kindle to:

Dan Burrell
c/o Life Fellowship
16507 Northcross Drive, Suite B
Huntersville, NC 28078

Without a doubt, parenting is the hardest job in the world.  You don’t get a practice run.  It’s 24/7/365-for-life.  From the day you bring them home, every day marks just a little less control you have in the lives of your kids.  Parenting will cause you to experience every emotion known to mankind at some point in your journey — both good and bad.  And quite honestly, if you’ve got all the parenting answers, you probably don’t have children. 

The Wisest Man that ever lived (Solomon) wanted to make sure his son was “Blessed for Success”.  That’s what most of the Book of Proverbs is – a Parent’s Guide to making sure our kids are equipped, trained, educated, prepared for the “blessings” that God desires to bestow on those who understand that God has a plan for each and every life.  And yet, many of today’s good parents — even those who follow after the words of this bastian of wisdom, will admit to feeling like they are or have been a complete and total failure as parents from time to time.  So who or what gets to define ‘good parenting’?

I was reared in the age of Dr. Spock.  When I say that to many younger audiences, they nod knowingly to each other and say – “We used to watch the Star Trek movies and reruns when we were growing up also.”  But I’m not talking about THAT Dr. Spock.  I’m referencing Dr. Benjamin Spock, the Pediatrician who wrote a best-selling book on how to rear children.  If Oprah, Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz are our self-help gurus of this generation, Dr. Spock was of his.  His book ranks among the very top sellers of all time. 

Dr. Spock was one of the first advocates of eliminating “spanking” from the arsenal of parentally-inflicted punishments.  Unfortunately for me, my parents apparently skipped that chapter because I do believe that I can recall on at least one occasion when my mother actually spanked me WITH Dr. Spock’s book on Child-Rearing. (Just kidding — she used other things, but not the actual book…that I recall.)  No, while I may have been reared in the “age” of Dr. Spock – my parents did not follow most of the teachings of the good doctor. 

Indeed, I was reared in a rather old-fashioned way.  I was taught to do such archaic things as clean-up my messes and obey my elders and say “yes, ma’am and no sir”.  I wasn’t allowed to hit my sisters, I had to kiss my mom good night and doing household and farm chores was not optional.  I wasn’t allowed to watch “Happy Days” on TV because of the “Fonz”.  I got in trouble from my grandmother one time for saying the word “pregnant” instead of “family way” or “expecting”.  The word “but” was never used unless it was a conjunction and the worst language I ever heard my mother say was “H-E double ‘eck’!”  We were in SS from infancy, I learned all the books of the Bible before I knew my times tables and even my punishment was issued by a wooden dowel stick which she called “the rod” in the Biblical sense of the Word.  I didn’t get dessert if I didn’t eat my veggies, if I got in trouble at school – I learned what trouble REALLY meant when I got home.  Once after spending too much time with some teenage second cousins, I made the foolish mistake of referencing a police officer (in the 60’s) as a “pig” and by the time my father was done with me…well, let’s just say this….every time I even look at bacon, I get a twitch to this day.

But my how times have changed.  If your child doesn’t have a “Wii” (and I’m not talking about their restroom habits) you’ve denied them a healthy and normal upbringing.  Today’s child needs a personal assistant just to keep up with their schedule of sports events, music lessons, private tutoring and birthday parties.  Not long ago, I read a news story regarding parents who are now questioning the practice of giving birthday parties for 1-year olds that actually had gift registries.  A couple of years ago, many of us read of the family from Boston who were asked to leave an airplane because their 3-year old pitched a 20-minute blood-curdling tantrum and would not be buckled into her seat.  (The parents were considering legal action against the airline and they notified the media looking for sympathy.)  Those of us involved in education understand that more important than a degree in education these days is a degree in law if you are going to be working with children.

I want you to know that I have sympathy for those who are parents in this generation.  Many of today’s parents have good intentions and sincere hearts when it comes to their children.  But frankly, many are overwhelmed with doubts, insecurities, feelings of inadequacy and even fears as they are bombarded with advice, materialism, threats and pressure.  You can’t trust your teacher, priest/pastor, coach or Boy Scout leader if spend too much time reading of the predatory nature of pedophiles and homosexuals that are featured nearly every edition of the local paper or newscast.  The public schools are just one stop short of a warzone in some cities and a sex club in others.  The internet is filled with trolling perverts who want to send your kids free porn, have them send them pictures of themselves and arrange meetings down at the local mall “just to get acquainted.”  Many of us know the top of our child’s head better than their face as we look at them constantly staring at their smartphone texting frantically as if they are trying to call in air support in the middle of firefight in Afghanistan.  It’s a tough world in which to be a parent today and many of us, who are honest, often feel like failures or at least over-whelmed.  At least I know that I have and do.

Some of these issues are unique to this generation and are the direct consequence of where our culture is at this point in time.  Today’s parents have a 50/50 chance that they were not reared in a home with both of their biological or adopted parents.  Choices to divorce, have kids out of wedlock and shack up without marriage have consequences — and even if you did it right, at least half of your kids friends have parents who didn’t.   Many of us struggle with a culture that has elevated materialism to the point wherein if you don’t offer your child every new toy, brand-new matching furniture when they arrive from the hospital, a fully-paid-4-year education at an Ivy-League college, vacations to Europe and beyond, designer clothing and a vehicle that has every safety feature found in a Space Shuttle you are somehow a bad parent.  And to make matters worse, Christmas is rolling around yet again!

I want to reassure some of you…

If you let your baby sleep in an open drawer because you couldn’t afford the Babies-r-Us bassinet, but you prayed over them every time you tucked them in, you ARE a good parent.

If you haven’t been able to afford cable TV, a Playstation, private lessons of any kind, and your idea of a vacation is camping in a borrowed tent in your back yard, but you’ve helped your kids learn their memory verses and phonics sounds as you sat at the kitchen table while dirty dishes awaited your attention in the sink – you ARE a good parent.

If your family has to wait until it comes out on video because you don’t want to drop a C-note at the cinema, if your kids wear hand-me-downs and Wal-mart sneakers, if you dining out means you’re checking out the dollar menu at Mickey D’s, but you were there to teach your kids how to ride a bike, or you’ve laid on a blanket in the backyard and talked about how God created the stars or you’ve wrestled on the floor with your kids until somebody broke something – you ARE a good parent.

If you feel bad because you didn’t use enough sunscreen on them at the beach, or because you once forgot to pick one of them up at school until they didn’t show up for dinner, or because your idea of mopping the floor involves using your fuzzy bunny slippers to sop up the spilled milk due to the fact that you don’t have enough money to hire a maid because you’re working over-time to pay Christian school tuition bills, but you sacrifice to make sure your kids are in a safe school, with teachers who love them and a curriculum that isn’t going to undercut your family’s values – you ARE a good parent.

And even if, as an adult, they choose to ignore your best efforts and make poor decisions on their own, at least you gave it your best.  An adult child is not necessarily always a reflection on his parents.  I’ve known plenty of kids who thumbed their noses at the good start they had in life, but who rebelled against that foundation.  They broke their parents’ hearts, but each one of us is a free moral agent and “Train Up a Child in the Way He Should Go…” is a proverb, not a promise and a rebellious heart is not always an indictment on a parent who did their best.

In the end, there is no such thing as a “perfect parent” and there is none good, but God.  Don’t let the world force you into it’s mold of “good” or “success” or “failure” with any of its definitions — whether as a parent or a citizen or a business person or just as a human doing their best in a horrifically broken world.

So, if you’ve ever felt like a failure or shed a tear in frustration because your teen has declared you the worst parent in the world for telling them “no” they can’t stay out after 11, or because you won’t let them go to a co-ed sleepover or because you aren’t going to let them date before they are sixteen or because you won’t let them go see a certain movie or because you will not be talked to like you are the family dog or because you won’t let them hang out with someone you know brings out the worst in them – Relax…you’re doing fine…and know this…that sometimes the best that you can do is simply the best that you can do. 

¹    My son, do not forget my law,
    But let your heart keep my commands;
²    For length of days and long life
    And peace they will add to you.

³    Let not mercy and truth forsake you;

    Bind them around your neck,

    Write them on the tablet of your heart,

⁴    And so find favor and high esteem

    In the sight of God and man.

⁵    Trust in the Lord with all your heart,

    And lean not on your own understanding;

⁶    In all your ways acknowledge Him,

    And He shall direct your paths.

⁷    Do not be wise in your own eyes;

    Fear the Lord and depart from evil.

⁸    It will be health to your flesh,

    And strength to your bones.

⁹    Honor the Lord with your possessions,

    And with the firstfruits of all your increase;

¹⁰    So your barns will be filled with plenty,

    And your vats will overflow with new wine.

Proverbs 3

I wrote this post over 3 years ago and someone brought it back to my attention recently, so I thought I’d repost it to bring a little levity to Monday.  Enjoy and share your favorite “Weirdo Sermon” for the rest of us to enjoy!

——–
From 2008

I estimate that in my 47 years of life, I’ve listened to (or listened to myself preaching) somewhere just over 12,000 sermons.  That’s about 5 per week and considering all the revival services, conferences, school chapels, etc… I’ve sat through over the years in addition to the regular schedule of Sunday morning, Sunday school, Sunday night and Wednesday night services, I think I’m being very conservative in my count.  Let’s just agree that I’m not being hyperbolic with  my count.

In that dozen-to-the-power-of-a-thousand number, I’ve heard some powerful messages filled with depth, inspiration and spiritual meat.  But, I’ve also heard some stunning clunkers, odd-and-I-mean-ODD stuff and a few out-n-out heretical junk.

I thought I’d share my weirdest ones and then ask you for yours (which is why I am really writing this list.)

1. The Washcloth Sermon

When I was a kid, my pastor was once preaching on I-don’t-know-what, but he went off on a tangent about washclothes and sissy men and said that “Washclothes have a rough side and a smooth side and real men use the rough side to wash and only sissies use the smooth side.”  This thoroughly traumatized me as not only had I not noticed the differences in sides (not exactly observant, was I?), but I highly suspected that I had been using the smooth side which made me a total Nancy Pants.

2. The WEIRDEST Internet Sermon EVER

This freakazoid has been making the rounds all over the internet and is a YouTube sensation.  He preaches on a verse from the KJV that uses a coarse term for urinating in the most twisted way you could ever imagine.  At first, I thought it was a parady, but I’ve heard from others that this guy is for real — and I use “real” in the broadest sense of the word I know.  You’ll find it HERE.

3. Anti-Wire-Rim-Glasses Sermon

I once heard a guy preach against Wire-Rims because they were worn by hippies and hippies believed in revolution and free love and promiscuity.  Sadly, this was during the 1980’s and he was about 25 years too late.  Poor Benjamin Franklin, he never really had a chance.

4. The “Don’t Part-Your-Hair-Down-the-Middle” Sermon

According to this one, those who parted their hair down the middle were closet gays.  If your hair was long and parted down the middle, well you might as well wear a tutu and wave a rainbow flag.  Real Christian men wore their hair high and tight — like in the military.  I always wondered what this guy said when a lot of gay guys started cutting their hair real short.  (Interestingly, this guy was later revealed to be one of the most immoral guys to ever stand behind a pulpit.)

5. The Pink Shirt Sermon

During college, an entire chapel service was dedicated to the topic of guys who dared to wear lavender or pink shirts — a hot new fashion trend in the early 1980’s.  To make the matter even more offensive, the preacher lambasted a simultaneous trend that was taking place — wearing a knit “sock” tie (I don’t know why they called them that) which one wore tucked into the top of the pants.  Apparently, the tucking it in at the top of the pants was somehow suggestive.  My friend snorted when he heard that and asked if they were going to outlaw the girls wearing necklaces next.  Of course, guess what I was wearing that day?  Yep…a pink shirt with a gray knit tie neatly tucked into the top of my pants.  (Does anyone notice the preoccupation with sexual subthemes here?)

6. Satan Claus Sermon

I’ve actually heard multiple sermons about Satan vs. Santa — both cause people to lie, both wear red (Not sure about the theological basis of Satan wearing red), both have the same letters in their names, both from the “north”, etc…, etc…  Variations have included preaching against the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Christmas Trees and Halloween.  (I’m actually in agreement with some of the points raised about turning cultural icons and traditions into mini-idols, but just don’t know that the topic is worthy of an ENTIRE sermon.)

7.  Date Setting of the Rapture

I’ve heard some real whacky prophecy preachers set some general dates for the rapture that have included the years 1976, 1981 (Planets were aligning), 1988, 1989, 1993, 2000, 2007 and so on.  Some even used urban legends to bolster their claims like that the vultures in the Middle East were laying more eggs than usual in order to eat the leftover carcasses of those killed at Armeggedon.  I’ve always been curious as to how cats dropped from ladders always land on their feet and how prophecy gurus who consistently misinterpret current events in light of eschatological Scripture passages still have any credibility at all, let alone maintain an audience.

8. Health Food Sermons

Our little church had a pastor that went through a health food kick and who insisted on preaching on the topic every sermon for MONTHS.  It culminated in a bus load of “believers” going to the city to have some quack analyze their spit and map the blood vessels in their eyes.  (I think they may have had to sacrifice a goat too…JUST KIDDING!)  One of our old deacons who lived into his nineties muttered — “I’ve been eating a bowl of ice cream every night before I go to bed for the last 30 years and I’m not about to stop now.”

9. Sit-Close-to-Your-Husband-While-You-Are-in-the-Car Sermon Tangent

This was actually a rabbit trail on a larger sermon on the topic of romance. I heard a guy wax on about how you shouldn’t own a car with bucket seats and that real Godly wives always sat right next to their husbands while they were driving.  (Shall we all pause to roll our eyes right now?)

10. Square-Dancing-is-of-the-Devil Sermon

Apparently, for some, wildly skipping in geometric patterns while boomeranging a partner with nearly enough force to cause a concusion while working up a sweat that would make an NFL running back in Miami during summer training look like he’s chillaxin’ can lead to wicked thoughts, fornication and possible evil concupiscence.  I can’t help wondering, however, if I’d learned to square dance when I was younger if I might still be able to see my feet.

So what your favorite “sermons”, tangents and illustration that made for memorable moments during your pew-sitting experiences?  Feel free to share them in the comment section and have a great Monday!

For some reason, I’m having trouble getting past the scandal that occurred at Penn State.  On one hand, that’s good.  Sometimes I fear that having had to deal with so much tragedy and reading so much about the effects of sin and wickedness as a Pastor for 25 years, I might have grown numb and calloused at the horror of depravity.  Apparently, I haven’t.  On the other hand, every time I think of that little 10-year-old kid who thought somebody just loved him because he needed to loved and ended up being violated unspeakably by this vile future roommate of Gacy, Dahmer and their ilk in hell, it about makes me crazy with rage and sorrow.

Some one posted THIS ARTICLE on Facebook today. I’m not sure who the guy is that wrote it, but it’s worthy of your read.  It’s painful to complete and if you are sensitive about the details of sexual abuse — then pass on this.  Trust me.  But he’s done an excellent job of focusing on something from which we can all learn.

As for me, I will eventually need to write about this myself.  If I don’t, I’m going to explode.  But I just can’t do it yet.

I’m not finished crying.

A few hours ago, I asked the following question on my Facebook wall:

Hypothetical for discussion: You are a pastor. In your church is a young girl age 15 who is very rebellious and doing her “own thing”. She ends up getting pregnant. Abortion is out of the question and she refuses to consider adoption, so she decides to parent. The kids in the youth department want to throw her a big baby shower on a Wednesday night as the due date approaches. As pastor, what do you do? Discuss among yourselves and no breaking the furniture when I’m out of the room.

Within less than 2 hours, well over 100 comments had been posted, arguments started, debate was had, some got upset, others got disgusted, some did the knee-jerk response of “look at these hypocrites” and “judgementalism is alive and well”, etc…  But hopefully EVERY ONE was required to think.  That’s what I do as a professor and having been a pastor, I will tell you that every pastor faces dilemmas like this one many times each year.  It’s a HARD job and someone is ALWAYS mad at you for any decision that you have to make.  Sometimes, it’s good to think of responses before they are presented.

So…at this point, I’m going to offer my thoughts.  No doubt, some will disagree with them and that’s OK.  But don’t just say “you’re wrong!”  And don’t you dare say something like “I feel…”.  As I say in class constantly, “I don’t give a rat’s behind what you feel.  Tell me what you THINK and WHY you think it.”  Preferably, build on Scripture and don’t twist it out of context.  You may be worn out by now and if so, that’s OK.  Please know it wasn’t my intention to drag up old wounds for some or to make anyone feel bad.  This is real life.  I teach graduate students Christian Leadership for Liberty University.  This is what I do for a living and because I love it.  Tough questions, tough choices, tough positions.  Hopefully, in the end, even if you disagree with my position, you won’t be upset with me because of my disposition.  Think Biblically above all else.

So here’s my reply….

I want to thank everyone for participating tonight.  I may be a sadist, but I enjoy exercises like this.  The unexamined life is not worth living according to one philosopher.  Those who have had me in a live-class setting in one of the colleges where I teach or have taught, know that throwing a question like this out into the middle of the class is how I often like to start a class or new section.  Most of us want simple, clear, black and white answers.  Better yet, many of us want someone else to make the tough decisions for us.  That doesn’t work in the real world.  We each have a responsibility to learn to think on our own and to think Biblically – not with just our hearts, but with our heads AND our hearts, but keeping Truth paramount.

As for the question I posed, many of you – if not most of you – were in my opinion grasping onto core Biblical principles including justice, grace, repentance, compassion, confrontation and mercy.  I’d give everyone a passing grade and I thought it was good to see some of you adding caveats and adjusting your perspective as the debate raged on.

I’ve had similar situations in every church and school with which I’ve been affiliated to the one I cited, but none just like this.  Some of the finest people I’ve ever known and that I love dearly made a mistake (both girls and guys) similar to the one of the hypothetical girl and they grew spiritually as they recovered from the consequences of their sin.  Today, the are sweet friends who are making a difference in the life of others.  Their life is not defined by a period of rebellion.  Indeed, their life — like all of ours should be — is a celebration of God’s grace.  Because whether or not they are obvious (like a pregnancy out of wedlock) or not as obvious (like being addicted to porn or alcohol or simply being a critical, bitter, self-righteous shrew) — we all have nasty, disgusting sins in our lives.

And yes,  getting pregnant out of wedlock (or simply having sex out of wedlock) is a sin.  Let’s not candy coat it.  We should not be surprised when humans…aka SINNERS, sin.  (Rom. 3:23, etc…)  I didn’t handle all of the situations perfectly as a pastor, though I tried to handle them sincerely and carefully.  Another note – pastors aren’t perfect and it is a mistake to hold them a standard of perfection OR have an insistence that they always agree with YOUR perspective all the time.  That isn’t going to happen and if you leave your church every time you disagree with something, you’ll be in a new church every week.

But here are my thoughts…

1.      1. The sin occurred while and because the girl was in rebellion.  This cannot be ignored.  This wasn’t a rape.  This was intentional.  Thus, sin has to be confronted.  While some will say that not every sin would be confronted – that is true.  We won’t and can’t know every single sin.  But this sin WAS known and it shouldn’t be ignored simply because we don’t “catch” all the sins.  We are only accountable for what we know.  But Matthew 18 and also Galatians 6 has a formula for confronting sin that begins with the personal visit and concludes as a last result as a corporate action.  The Bible warns us that rebellion is like witchcraft and sorcery – we should not ignore it.  So as soon as the sin was discovered, the process of confrontation that will hopefully lead to repentance and then to restoration needs to occur.  Without that, we start off incorrectly.

2.      2. In my opinion, baby showers and youth groups don’t mix.  That should have been a pretty easy one.  Teenagers can get married and when they do, they need to leave the youth group.  But unless they are married, teens shouldn’t be having sex and they shouldn’t be making babies.  So baby showers and youth groups just don’t mix.  There are some things that the youth need to leave to adults until they have attained sufficient maturity – counseling, marriages, being a deacon/elder and yes….Baby Showers.  If Baby Showers are necessary for anyone – single, married, young, whomever – let the older women of the church sponsor those.  It solves problems before they happen to have that as a policy or standard.

3.      3. Showers are celebrations by design.  I’ve never seen a somber shower.  There are games, refreshments, laughter, balloons, etc…  Offering a party in the middle of the Matthew 18 restoration policy sends the wrong signal and confuses the process.  It shouldn’t happen.  The attention should be on the spiritual healing that is necessary.  Her family should make sure she is getting prenatal care, is physically cared for, etc…  In the absence of a supportive family, then she should be assigned to a church family who should take her in and minister to her – providing that she is engaged in the restoration process.  In my opinion, it would be wrong to honor someone who is in the midst of recovering from a moral failure.  Her soul is more important than her feelings and how she perceives us and whether she is happy and excited.  Let’s focus soberly on the spiritual issues – that’s the foundation.  (Before you get angry and stop reading, let me say that I’m not done yet…hang in there and stay with me.)

4.       4. If she stays in rebellion, then the church and her leadership have no choice but to protect those who might be influenced by her on-going rebellion.  Failing to move toward repentance, she should be formally disciplined by the church ultimately leading to – as a last resort – an excommunication from fellowship.  At that point, the church has no additional obligation to her.  There are private charities and government assistance available to her and above all, her family is obligated to stay involved but also within their terms as the authority/parents.  Some rebellious teens separate themselves from their families intentionally.  Sometimes we have to let them as hard as that may be.  But by choosing to stay in rebellion, after a patient period of exhortation and appeal, she is the one who is walking away from the benefits of grace and support that a church can and should provide.  It is not the church rejecting her – she is rejecting God’s word.  We must see that.  We can’t let our hearts, sloppy agape or a need to be liked and affirmed to overrule truth.

5.       5. If she repents and desires restoration, then this is when grace and mercy and healing can flow and bless her and the church.  She should seek reconciliation first with God, then her family and then the church – all of whom were offended and impacted by sin.  Public sin needs to be dealt with publicly.  What “public” is might well be somewhat impacted by the size of the church also.  Small churches are quite different than mega-churches in terms of how news travels.

6.       6. A shower is for the mother – not the baby.  The baby does not know, nor does she care, if there is a party. So don’t try to make this about celebrating the baby.  We celebrate life – but we should do so wisely and appropriately.  But there are ways to help this young woman prepare for the costs and responsibilities of motherhood.  She needs a Godly mentor if her mother can’t or won’t provide that – so like they did in Titus, she needs to be ministered by an older lady who will love and train and teach her.  I believe, that at a time near the birth, it would then be perfectly acceptable to have some sort of care event at which time other Godly examples  of character and Biblical womanhood come together and break bread, present gifts and most of all – share wisdom.  This can be done in a joyful way without labeling it a “party”, but if it feels like a party, if there is rejoicing over grace and forgiveness and healing — then why not celebrate it?  It should drip with mercy and care and charity.  We rejoice in repentance.  We rejoice in forgiveness.  We rejoice in restoration and second chances.  But we don’t celebrate sin.  And we also guard the hearts of our young, single daughters.  They don’t need to be there.  She is now assuming the responsibilities of an adult.  Let the adults take the lead in ministering to her.

7.       7. Anyone else in the church can, and perhaps should, minister to her through providing resources and supplies.  This communicates love and reconciliation.  That might include her peers in the youth group.  But that should be a family matter.  Let them decide together what is the best response.  In the presence of repentance, we cannot Biblical refuse to help, forgive and restore fellowship.  If we fail to do so, then we are behaving unBiblically and it might be time for another Matthew 18 journey.

8.       8. Do the right thing regardless of politics.  Someone will always be upset.  There are people who are spiritually weak and immature and they will not agree.  Some will want more grace.  Some will want more punishment.  It is not the responsibility of the church to punish the sinner.  The church is to push for repentance, reconciliation and restoration.  God will take care of punishment.  Plus, sin always has consequences.  Both on the guilty and on the innocent.  In the absence of repentance and restoration, the integrity of the church must be guarded and the immature must be protected.  Thus, the unrepentant sinner must be put out.  It’s not an act of retribution.  It’s an act of protection for the church

9.       9. Finally, remember that your pastor and elders are humans, but they hold divinely assigned roles that must be honored.  We don’t have to agree.  We won’t give account to God for the decisions – they will.  It would be wrong to stir dissension, quit church, confront the pastor, etc… simply because we disagree.  If there is a Biblical issue – a CLEAR one – then there is a Biblical process for confronting an elder.  But you’d better be right and you’d better follow the Scripture.  Otherwise, you are quite wrong.  Acknowledge that some others will see it differently than you, but stay committed to Truth and the process.  Let God’s Word stand and let God be God.  Being a pastor is a heavy and solemn responsibility.  Pray for your pastors and elders.

So that’s my 2 cents.  Thanks to all of you who participated.  Feel free to continue the discussion in the comment section below.  If you aren’t a Facebook friend, feel free to friend me and go back and read the debate.  We’ll do this again sometime.

Thanks to the rise of feminism, the decline of masculinity and the neglect of fathers, common courtesies that men used to extend toward women have been largely lost in today’s generation.  I recall clearly a few years ago that I saw a woman moving toward a store door about the same time that I did, so I quickened my pace a bit, grabbed the door handle, pulled it open and stood back so that the lady could pass through first.  She stopped dead in her tracks and glaring at me, said, “I’m quite capable of opening my own door.”  I just smiled and stood there until she decided that the showdown was going to be a long one and finally stepped through the door without a thanks or an acknowledgment of the courtesy at all.  Frankly, it didn’t bother me all that much as I didn’t figure that the fact that her mother had raised an angry amazon did not negate the fact that my parents hadn’t raised a self-centered clod.

But today, too many young men are being raised in a culture that treats women as sex objects or social equals unworthy of consideration rather than as feminine treasures worthy of courtesy and as a consequence, they really do not know how to demonstrate the chivalrous and confident helpfulness that projects masculine respect and servant leadership.  This failure to groom young men into humble, yet secure initiators of protection and provision leaves women caught in a culture where they are subject to more violence, rudeness and disrespect.

Some chivalrous acts should be a intentionally taught by engaged fathers who want to see a confident courteousness in their sons that communicates safety, deference, leadership and self-confidence.  Here are a few skills that I believe should be included in this training:

1. Standing when a woman enters the room.

2. Offering a woman of any age your seat when all the seats are taken in a room, on public transportation or in any setting where seating is at a premium.

3. Opening the door for a lady.

4. When walking down a sidewalk, the man should walk nearest the street. (This puts the man between traffic and the lady providing an additional layer of safety.)

5. When going down stairs, the man should go down them first.  (In case the lady falls froward, he can catch her or break the fall.)

6. When going up stairs, the man should go up last.  (In case the lady falls backwards, he can catch her or break the fall.)

7. When entering a darkened room or house, the man enters first to make sure everything is safe.

8. When eating at a table, the man should assist the lady with her chair, moving it to the back of her knees and slowly sliding it under her as she places her weight on it.

9. Never use crude, course or vulgar language (or profanity) in front of a lady and show respect by not demonstrating any special skills in belching or other scatological talents one may possess.

10. When shaking the hands of a lady, wait for her to extend her hand and then offer yours with a firm and secure grip that is not too tight nor too loose while looking pleasantly in her eyes.

11. If one sees a women carrying a package or anything heavier than a purse, the man should insist on carrying it to her destination.

12. If a woman appears to be cold and you are wearing a coat or jacket, you should offer it to her.

13. When leaving row seating (like in a church or theater), once in the aisle, step back and let the lady emerge from the row.  If you are making your way through a crowd, the man should lead the way while the woman holds his arm.

14. When traveling in a car, upon arriving at a destination, the man should go around the car and open the door and helping the lady if she is leaving a vehicle that is difficult to get out of like a truck or a sports car.

15. If someone is showing rudeness toward a lady in the presence of a man, he should do whatever is necessary (but not more than is necessary) to protect her.

There are certainly more than 15 actions that young men should learn in how they should treat a lady, but this is a good start.  It is also a good idea to train your sons that if a woman doesn’t want to be treated with respect or more-or-less acts like a guy when she is with him, that she likely won’t be the kind of young lady that a man will enjoy being married to over a lifetime and he might want to look for a woman who appreciates it when a man has enough confidence and strength of character to take the lead in a relationship by demonstrating exceptional courtesy and leadership.

More to come later….feel free to add your own thoughts in the comments section…

Also coming soon…what every young lady should do to display feminine character.

Folks who know me know that I follow politics like people from Boston follow the Red Sox.  It totally fascinates me from myriad angles.  So I can’t let yesterday’s election results without at least a quick analysis.

Yesterday’s results — extrapolated nationally — should be a wake-up call to Republicans in general and Conservatives, specifically.  The Elephant of the GOP is drowning.  Someone had better wake up!

Let me note five key election results as the foundation for my warning:

Ohio — In a devastating defeat, Ohio voters knocked down conservative Republican Governor Kasisch’s effort to rein in the ridiculous power of the public sector unions and returned various activities including collective bargaining for retirement and other benefits to the union bosses.  In effect, the thugs won and the average tax-paying citizen lost.

Mississippi — A highly-publicized effort to define life as beginning at the moment of conception was soundly defeated.  There were actually some problems with this effort that divided some conservatives that are interested in In-Vitro issues and some forms of birth control and those problems negated the conservative vote and the issue failed.  Note to Republicans: when you split the conservative base, you lose the election.

Kentucky — Democratic Governor Steve Beshear waltzed to an easy re-election in a state that is traditionally conservative and generally Republican.

Maine — Voters overturned a new law which required voters to actually register 48 hours ahead of an election to demonstrate that they indeed eligible to participate.  Generally opposed by liberals, this undercuts the Democrat machine’s ability to register vagrants and vagabonds at the poll in exchange for a bus ride and lunch.  Another strike against conservative reform

Arizona — the state representative that introduced Arizona’s tough and controversial immigration policy was booted out of office by voters.  While replaced by another Republican, his defeat is notable.

And then one local race I want to mention…

Charlotte, NC — in the future location of the next Democratic Convention, Charlotte continued its march to become the next Char-troit as Democratic Mayor Anthony Fox smashed his opponent, a leading Republican on the city commission was sent to the showers and was replaced by a leftist, lesbian activist.

Those are just five I want to mention.  There were more conservative defeats (including a loss of a Republican seat in the House of Reps for New Jersey) and a few status quo and pick-up races that benefited conservatives.  But all in all, if conservatives will be honest, it was a bad night at the polls.

This is why conservatives should be concerned.  Many times, conservatives think that what they listen to on Talk Radio or read on Hugh Hewitt or the Drudge Report is representative of where the country is politically.  Nope.  What you are doing is listening to the echo of your own opinions if that’s where you are getting your assessment that Obama is a “one and done” President.  Not on your life.

Obama is a fund-raising machine.  The unions are ticked off, empowered and fat and sassy from loads of Obama-assigned government largess — they will be MAJOR players for the next 12 months.  The conservative base of the GOP cannot find a suitable candidate around which they can coalesce as the sound of the Cain campaign collapsing into shambles is finally starting to rumble.  Public opinion has shifted dramatically on core conservative red-meat issues like traditional marriage and even abortion.  Unless by some miracle, Newt or Santorum experience a resurrection, the Repubs will nominate yet another candidate in the tradition of Bush, Sr, Dole and McCain and the result will be no different.  Conservatives will either find a third-party alternative like Ron Paul (God help us) or simply sit home in lethargy.  Obama will get relected in a closer election, but will get four more years during which he will get to appoint at least 2, perhaps 3 extremist liberal justices to the Supreme Court and then it will be Katy-Bar-the-Door on America as we have known it.  If Romney were to be elected, he knows it won’t be because he was enthusiastically embraced by real conservatives so he will be under no obligation to embrace their agenda — though there is little chance that he would do that even if elected due to the endorsement of Roger Ailes himself.

So, I’m pessimistic.  Truly pessimistic.  I would not bet against Obama and the Dems and the Unions and the mindless millions of minions who suck from the teats of government aid.  This election could be lost, not because of the appeal of Obama and his liberal/socialist agenda, but because the Republicans are so totally inept at finding a candidate who actually knows what conservative ideals look like and can articulate them in a semi-coherent way.

Feel differently?  Sound off…I’m interested in what you might say.

Swimming Elephant Photo attribution to © Olivier Blaise: http://www.fontainebleau-photo.com/

The whole Rob Bell/Mars Hill/Love Wins saga just keeps unfolding with layer after layer of bad theology.  Now the Teaching Pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church, Shane Hipps, has made a public statement that just defies logic, rules of hermenuetics and exigesis and quite a bit of common sense.  Get a load of this…

     “There is a lot of talk these days about heaven and hell. Recently, a handful of best-selling books have been published on this topic (23 Minutes in Hell, Erasing Hell, Heaven Is for Real, God Wins). Some of these are in direct response to Rob Bell’s book Love Wins (incidentally and ironically, a book almost entirely concerned with this life, not the next one).
     “As a Christian who believes in the Bible and Jesus, I have found the intensity and certainty of the debate all very bizarre. It’s strange that so much passion and ink has been spilled over something that is all speculation.
     “Here’s what I mean: If you died, took pictures, and came back to life again, then you would know with certainty what happens after death. Of course, you would only know what happens to you, not everyone else. But if you haven’t died, you can only speculate about what happens to you and everyone else.
     “This speculation is perfectly fine. As long as we recognize these are only our beliefs. And beliefs by nature are not certain; they are faith based assumptions. That’s what makes them beliefs. Once you can prove them, they are no longer beliefs; they become a kind of knowing. And the funny thing is once you know, you don’t need to debate anymore.
     “I have never died, so I don’t have a theological position on heaven or hell. I can only entertain theological possibilities. There is a big difference.
     “I take a position when I know something with certainty. Almost always through direct experience. If someone pinches me, I don’t believe they pinched me. I know it. I experienced it. It doesn’t reside somewhere in my head. Nothing to debate. It happened.
     “I consider a possibility when it’s something I don’t know. This is something I merely believe. Either because someone I trust told me, or the Bible seems to say it, or reason supports it. But until I’ve experienced it, this is only something I believe– a possibility. And possibilities should be held with an open hand, perhaps with some humility and even humor. Who knows, I could be wrong about what I believe?
     “Now having said this, I’m only aware of one person who died, and I mean really died, like three days dead, and came back to life again. His name was Jesus. Upon his return from the dead, he didn’t believe anymore; now he knew. So if I wanted some indication about what happens after I die, I should probably pay attention to what he said after he came back from the dead.
     “Here’s what he said about heaven and hell after his resurrection. Nothing. Nada. Zip.
     “What did he talk about? Here’s just a sampling: He tells his disciples to make students of him (Mt 28:16), to share the good news of liberation in this life (Mk 16:9-20). He says, “Peace be with you,” and “I’m hungry.” (Lk 24:36-41) He says, “Receive the holy breath; now you can forgive sins.” (Jn 20:22) He says, “It’s me, really, touch my side” (Jn 20:27), and “The fishing is better on the right side of the boat.” (Jn 21:6) He says “Let’s eat” (Jn 21), “Feed my sheep; now follow me” (Jn 21:18-20), and “Stop worrying about the future and the fate of other people; just follow me.” (Jn 21:22; Acts 1:7-8)
     “Not exactly a systematic theology of the afterlife. Mostly, it’s a repeated invitation to trust and follow him and not worry about the future. Apparently, he is also hungry a lot. If anyone had the authority and credibility to provide a coherent-once-and-for-all description of exactly what happens after you die, it would be Jesus upon his return from beyond the beyond. But he didn’t. He didn’t even seem all that interested.
     “If it were important to him, you’d think he would have written a book about it. Or preached a sermon or two. But he didn’t. After Jesus rose from the dead, he spends his time talking about this life.  It would seem Jesus is more concerned with this life than the next. Perhaps we should be, too.  We only get one, and it’s short.”  (HT: Charles Wood)

If you want a good rebuttal to “Love Wins” try this E-Book written by my pastor, Dr. Bobby Conway — “Hell, Rob Bell and What Happens When You Die”

This is a continuation  of the text from a sermon/lecture I give around the country on Worldviews.  If you have not read the first part, click HERE.

————————— 

So, Whose View Have You? 

There are only two views available to us and their roots are found in the book of beginnings – GENESIS.  From the moment Eve (and Adam) decided to listen to Satan and take “Truth” into their own hands, there have been two views of Truth.  Every false, pagan, confusing, changing or flawed worldview is born of the lineage of the Fall of Man.  Those views — whether viewed collectively or singularly — run against the absolute reality of Metaphysical TRUTH — there is a God and He matters and He IS Truth.  And whether or not we know it, acknowledge it, believe it or obey it — is irrelevant.  Truth is not dependent upon the beliefs of creation to exist.  It.  Just.  Is.

Every decision you make, where you will spend your eternity, how you live this life, where you place your trust, what you spend your time doing are all a reflection of your view of TRUTH.  Sadly, even among those who call themselves Christian, too frequently demonstrate that trusting Christ and walking in practical/functional Truth are not synonymous.  Indeed, if we were to examine the lifestyle, decision-making processes, conduct, choices, priorities, goals, attitudes, values, ethics or outcomes of the typical self-identified “Christian” — we’d see that many — if not most — live out the Worldview of moral relativism, not Biblical absolutism.

Warren Wiersbe put it this way – “Your behavior is a reflection of what you believe.” 

So let’s examine those Worldviews, beginning at a very rudimentary level. Two Views – The ABSOLUTE VIEW — The Absolutist believes that there exists in the Universe the presence of immutable, definitive, constant Truth.  From the teleological perspective then, we must ask from whence comes Truth?  What is it’s origin?  Where does it begin?  For the Absolutist, it all begins with the first verse of Scripture.  “In the beginning God…”. From there, we build out our response to Truth by remembering these things…

ü  There is a God
ü  His Word is true
ü  We are accountable to Him
ü  He does not change 

The RELATIVE VIEW — On the other hand, the Relativist believes that Truth is a construct of man or culture or society.  There is no absolute source, it continues to evolve, it is constructed to help in our evolution, it does not necessarily apply the same in all places or to all people or at all times.  What may be “true” for you, may not be necessarily “true” for me.  What is “true” today, may not be “true” tomorrow.  What may be “true” in America (or even on earth), may not be “true” elsewhere.  The origin of this thought can be traced back to Satan who seduced Eve by questionning whether or not God was trustworthy.  “Did He really say what you think He said?”  “You don’t really think He meant it when He said you’d die?”  “Could it be that He is holding something even better back from you?”  Of course Scripture tells us that the root of such thinking is PRIDE and when go back to the days when Satan was a powerful angel and decided that HE had the right to be God.  Literally the fall that came to man began with a fall that began in heaven.

So, for the Relativist, Truth comes down to this….

ü  There is no God and if there is, He doesn’t matter
ü  God’s word is not necessarily true
ü  We are accountable to no one but ourselves
ü  Truth is evolutionary, changing and relative  We can also call these views by other names…

Absolutist vs. Relativist
Theistic vs. Humanistic
Christian vs. Anti-Christian (or Biblical vs. Non-Biblical)�
Spiritual vs. Secular
 Idealism vs. Pragmatism….and many more…  

But summed up, whatever you call it – it all comes down to this — either God is Truth or God is a Liar — and we must decide which view we are going to hold, because it is the key to how we live and ultimately where we go when we die. 

When it comes to Truth, being dogmatic is unavoidable.  Our culture despises dogmatism and those who are dogmatic.  How dare you say that there is “one way” or “one standard” or “one truth”!  How narrow!  How intolerant!  The mantra of today’s culture is “Who am I/you to say?”  Thus, everyone becomes right and the only one who is wrong is the one who is willing to say the everyone can’t be right.

But for those who believe in Absolute Truth, it is really quite easy to respond to those who believe that Truth is relative and that there are no absolutes.

Let me give you some examples of non-truth statements and how an Absolutist can respond.

The Relativist says, “There is no such thing as truth!”
The Absolutist then responds, “Then is that true?”

The Relativist says, “You can’t know truth!”
The Absolutist then responds, “Then how do you know THAT?”

The Relativist says, “All Truth is relative!”
The Absolutist then responds, “Is that a relative truth?”

The Relativist says, “There are no absolutes!”
The Absolutist then responds, “Isn’t that an absolute truth?” 

The Relativist says, “It’s true for you, but not for me!”

The Absolutist then responds, “Is THAT just true for you, or is it true for everybody?”

The Relativist says, “NO ONE has the Truth!”

The Absolutist then responds, “Does THAT truth include you?”
 

The Relativist says, “All truth depends on your perspective!”

The Absolutist then responds, “Is that YOUR perspective?”
 

The Relativist says, “You should doubt everything!” –

The Absolutist then responds, “Should I doubt THAT?”

The Relativist says, “You ought not judge!” –

The Absolutist then responds, “Isn’t that a judgement?”

About then, their head simply explodes.

(For more ideas on responding to those who reject Truth, read “I Don’t Have Enough Faith to be an Athiest” by Norm Geisler and Frank Turek.)

Copyright 2011 — by Dan Burrell.  All Rights Reserved

To be continued…..