Time for a Rant
I haven’t had a good rant in months, so I thought I’d rip one off for you right quickly as we start the week. If you are unfamiliar with my “rants” — it’s just a quick mental download of randomness from someone who is known for his quirky observations and ADD-styled musings…
- Like a moth drawn to the light (or a fly drawn to….well, any way, you get the picture), I couldn’t help but watch some of the inaugural coverage as much as I vowed I wouldn’t. I’m glad I did — it was a historic moment and the majesty of our governmental system was on full display. However, I should have turned the volume down because honestly, the newscasters total abandonment of any pretense of objectivity (compared to how they have moderated previous inauguration) was nothing short of nauseating.
- Whoever came up with the “Five Dollar, Five Dollar, Five Dollar Foot Long” jingle for Subway was a genius. Every where I go, I hear people singing and humming it. That one will go in the American cultural repertoire like “Two all beef patties…” and “It’s the Real Thing”.
- I remain frustrated with where I fit in the whole “fundagelical” world. I don’t fit in the “fundamentalist” camp even though I’m with them on doctrine, because I just can’t tolerate their spirit and legalism. I don’t fit in the “evangelical” camp even though I like their passion and spirit, because I can’t tolerate their pragmatism and squish philosophy. So where’s a guy like me supposed to fit? Just wondering out loud….
- I’m on a diet again. Pray for my family.
- I’m rooting for the Cardinals Sunday out of principle. I’m just generally for anyone playing the Steelers. Plus I like Kurt Warner.
- I also think Tim Tebow is the man.
- One of the neat things about having your kids grow up to be fine young adults is that you not only love them, you like them.
- I’d rather be the most conservative guy in a room full of liberals than the most liberal guy in a room full of conservatives.
- I think it is interesting that when Democrats are in power, they govern from strength. When Republicans are in power, they govern with apology.
- I respect a liberal with principles more than I do a conservative without them.
- I’m pretty much against everything that Obama stands for politically. However, you gotta’ admit this, he is straight out of central casting when it comes to looking “Presidential”. Plus, he doesn’t use words like “misunderestimated”, “strategery” and “nuke-u-lar.”
- You gotta’ wonder about a guy (Obama) who has more compassion on Prisoners of War than he does for pre-born children.
- Has anyone noticed that there is basically nothing worth watching on TV anymore? (Except “24″ — Jack Bauer is the man.)
- I don’t know who that little chick is that co-hosts the Today show on the week-ends, but I find her immensely annoying.
- My favorite meal of the week is Saturday breakfast with Josh. He’s about the only person on the planet for whom I’d get up early to eat breakfast on a Saturday.
- I have this sinking feeling that as bad as the economy is right now (and it is BAD), we haven’t seen ANYTHING yet.
- Speaking of the current economy, I’m so concerned that I have adopted my father’s philosophy of cash management. I wouldn’t “spend a nickel to see a turkey ride a bicyle” right now.
- If you live in South Florida, you owe it to yourself to go to the South Florida Fair in Palm Beach County. Eat a fried twinkie, try a smoked turkey leg and catch a pig race. It really doesn’t get better than that.
- I miss having chickens in my back yard. (But not enough to move to Hialeah.)
- One of the great things about living in South Florida — February = Spring.
- That new Coke Zero is pretty tasty stuff. Much better than Diet Coke.
- I’m sad to see newspapers disappearing. I think they’ll all be gone in 10 years except for maybe USA Today. Of course, the only time I buy a newspaper anymore is when I’m flying somewhere.
- I truly don’t understand why Hamas just didn’t stop launching their little pop bottle rocket missiles into Israel instead of letting hundreds of their civilians get killed in a senseless war. I don’t blame Israel — I blame Hamas.
- I wish Jimmy Carter would go back to Plains and retire. How did he ever get the impression that he is an effective diplomat when he was one of the most ineffective Presidents in US history?
- I think we should change the name of pyramid schemes to “Madoff Schemes” instead of “Ponzi Schemes”. Words fail me to describe how despicable he is for what he has done to old people and charities. I don’t care how rich, gullible, liberal or whatever those people where, he couldn’t have been more of a thief if he had been wearing a bandana and carrying a six-shooter.
- I like the fact that Rick Warren ended his inaugural prayer with all those various names of Jesus. And some wondered if he’d even mention His name once. LOL.
- Was it me or was Joseph Lowery’s prayer just a little bit racist?
- I like Aretha Franklin’s hat. I think all ladies should wear hats to church. I’m just weird that way.
- So I went into a restroom at a Golden Corral the other day and they had a “sanitary hook” on the back of the bathroom door which allowed you to open the door without touching the knob. Someone else has a public restroom “issue” like me. I hope they get a raise.
And with that….consider this rant COMPLETE.
Chris Anderson said,
January 26, 2009 @ 4:59 pm
I enjoyed that.
About the sanitary hook: How is it not just as dirty as the knob, now that all the non-knobbers are using it? Just give me paper towel—the one I used to dry my hands, then shut off the faucet.
And what was a guy who wouldn’t pay a nickel to see a turkey ride a bicycle doing at a restaurant? It’s like you’re just giving money away.
Dan Burrell said,
January 26, 2009 @ 5:45 pm
Chris….it was a hook that you used with the wrist. (There were even instructions!) Of course, they didn’t have a towel dispenser — just hot air. That in turn required me to leave the water running after I washed my hands because what good does it do to wash your hands then touch the filthy knobs with your clean hands. I was able to push the button on the hot air blower with my elbow which was a relief.
You’ll note that it was the fair where I was doing my eating and in commemoration of the fact that I wouldn’t pay a nickel to see the turkey ride the bicycle, I ate one of his legs instead. A turkey has to earn a living somehow, I guess.
patrick said,
January 26, 2009 @ 7:14 pm
jack bauer IS the man! no doubt about it.
*Just curious because I’ve heard you use the word several times in description of some… what is your definition of a “pragmatist” in the evangelical world?
I’ve always thought of it as someone who does WHAT WORKS! seems to me that’s what Jesus would be for right? & of course you wouldn’t be for doing something on purpose that’s ineffective, I’m sure. (& of course no one is advocating being pragmatic at the expense of going against Scripture…)
just a Question, because I’m not sure why pragmatism should be used as a negative word??? seems like such a great thing to me (but of course everyone calls me a pragmatist)…
John the Baptist said,
January 26, 2009 @ 8:53 pm
Amen to all….and I along with you, am struggling with where I “fit in”…..but then who says you have to?
I have yet to see sanitary hooks but when I find out how to get some for our Church, we will have sanitary hooks!
Ted said,
January 26, 2009 @ 9:21 pm
Dan,
You were in a Golden Coral, for goodness sake. Are you really in a position to worry about sanitariness?
Ted said,
January 26, 2009 @ 9:25 pm
Patrick,
A pragmatist is someone who determines truth by pratical consequences. That’s Webster’s definition, anyway. It’s not that a pragmatist does what works. It’s that a pragmatist believes that what works is what’s right. And we as Christians should all know that’s not true. “Pragmatist” should be, to any Christian, a negative word.
Chad in Alabama said,
January 26, 2009 @ 9:27 pm
Tickets to get ito the South FL fair- $8 per person (You, your wife and kids), Fried Twinkie- $4 (4,500 calories), Turkey leg for you and your son- $12, Drinks- $15, Tickets for various rides held together by 2 screws and 1 nut- $25,. Seeing a feathered gobbler balancing itself on a 2 wheeled vehicle at a high rate of speed…$.05. They probably had 1 of those at the fair next to the bearded lady, norwegian midget, and traveling band of gypsies that play folk music using kitchen utensils. Love your rants.
Kevin said,
January 27, 2009 @ 8:43 am
Dan, you describe exactly how I feel about “fundagelicalism” (btw, great word “coinage”
) The last few years have left me feeling more and more trapped, more and more frustrated, between the two camps. As a fellow Christian, I just get heartbroken when I consider what has happened with both camps and how they have taken exceedingly valuable elements of our faith and turned them into foolishly presented tangents. Sometimes I get the desire to tell both sides “a pox on both your houses” and to just leave me alone. I sometimes summarize it this way—”fundamentalists with no heart, and evangelicals with no head.”
Thanks Dan, for your Biblically reasonable and heartfelt approach to so many of these important issues.
To Patrick and Ted–”Pragmatic” as a loosely applied descriptive adjective usually implies an appreciation for getting things done. “Pragmatic” as a philosophical viewpoint demonstrates a belief that an action or viewpoint’s inherent value is determined ONLY by its successful utility—”the ends justify the means”, a concept that can be one of the most dangerous variations of relativism ever considered.
Dan Burrell said,
January 27, 2009 @ 10:00 am
Patrick….from a philosophical perspective, Pragmatism is the belief that Truth is found in whatever works or produces a desired/positive outcome. Thus, the standard becomes the “ends” and not the “means.” To some extent, we are all practically pragmatic. That’s why I own an SUV — I have 4 kids and a dog and lots of junk. “It works for me.”
However, in the philosophical realm, it becomes problematic because it sets up a new/different standard for what is True/Real/Authentic. All practical philosophies must be accountable to an Absolute Authority (not the other way around.)
Thus, my criticism of much of the modern CGM and, quite frankly, the early CGM — is and has been that we seem quite content to abandon sound philosophy and to some extent even absolute truth in order to meet an objective. This has been rationalized as a response to legalism — but I would posit that it’s an “over-response” and that whether you are extreme to the right or extreme to the left — the extent to which you are away from Truth is the extent of your error. It really doesn’t matter whether it is legalism or license.
That’s kind of a “heavy” response, but I see this as a MAJOR flaw in where the evangelical church is today and where the fundamentalist church was half a generation ago.
Keep thinking, dude!
Dan
Dan Burrell said,
January 27, 2009 @ 10:02 am
Chad….you crack me up, man! BTW…my wife paid .50 cents to see “the world’s smallest woman” and then proceeded to have a conversation with her as to how awful it was that “they” were doing this to her to make money. The little gal looks up at her and says, “I’ve gotta’ make a living”. LOL.
Chad in Alabama said,
January 27, 2009 @ 11:12 am
Hahaha, Dan that is hilarious. With this economy, everyone needs to make a living! I would love to have seen your wife’s face as she was being so sweet and coming to the aid of this lady to “feel her pain” and the lady says “Look lady, Ive got to make a living!” Classic.
Dan, you should do an article on if we had a “Fundamentalist Fair” what type of exhibits we could see. “Traveling Ensembles Gone bad”, “Cullottes Actually Exist”, and “I can guess your age, weight, and the fundamental school you went to” would be somehting I would pay $.50 for!
Leslie said,
January 27, 2009 @ 11:48 am
You hit the nail on the head with the following comments:
Obama. Extremely presidential. We haven’t had one of those since my personal favorite president…..Ronald Reagan.
Jack Bauer IS the man….Charlie loves to act just like him. But living in the EST zone is a pain….we have to dvr the show & watch in the next night as a family.
I’ve been saying the economy is nowhere as bad as it’s going to get. It would be nice is Obama could turn out to be the anti-Christ!
Lowery’s prayer was more than a little racist. Aretha’s hat was the bomb (or whatever the kids are saying now.) See my blog.
Good to catch up with you via your rants! Leslie
Ken Pierpont said,
January 27, 2009 @ 11:54 am
Dan. I’m so glad I found you. (Thanks Doc Wood). Enjoyed your “rant.” Not sure I agree with everything, but it made me think…. And some of the items I did agree with brought me out of my chair!
Ben R. said,
January 27, 2009 @ 2:45 pm
I’m not a nutritionist by any stretch of the imagination, but does “I’m on a new diet” and “I was at Golden Corral” go together?
If you can make that work, you’ll be a millionare.
Ellis Murphree said,
January 28, 2009 @ 8:28 am
great stuff, Dan! I am completely with you in most of these…especially the Bauer and “fundagelical” comments.
Regarding your comment on Lowery’s benediction, I saw it the same way and blogged about it the next day. Strange thing….I never saw any of the big media outlets pick up on it
Nate said,
January 28, 2009 @ 9:01 am
….you misspelled “bicycle”….
mikebNC said,
January 28, 2009 @ 2:01 pm
Can at least a billion dollars of the stimulus package go towards bathroom sanitation???
Les Ismore said,
January 28, 2009 @ 2:02 pm
Dan, one of the reasons I like your blog is because you are “real” and don’t have to have every single post be of a deep, theological, holier-and-more-serious-than-your blog nature.
You made some interesting observations. I would suggest you keep on eating breakfast, whether it’s with people you enjoy or not. I think you’ll do better at your diet if you have breakfast on a regular basis.
“That new Coke Zero is pretty tasty stuff. Much better than Diet Coke.” Coke Zero is new?? I thought it had been around for at least a couple of years already.
” have this sinking feeling that as bad as the economy is right now (and it is BAD), we haven’t seen ANYTHING yet.” - I very much hope you are dead wrong on this one. But, you may be correct.
Speaking of the economy, do you think things will get bad enough that people will actually start to get concerned about it and not have it just be joke fodder for the late-night tv shows? Do you think it will cause anyone to change their focus at all in the world of fundamentalism? In other words, do you think that a really bad economy could start to cause people to focus less on how “bad” Sandy Patty and Steve Green (are they even still around? I just remember they were “controversial” in the 80’s, in some people’s views) music is and actually cause them to think about things in life that are serious?
Jason Trommetter said,
January 30, 2009 @ 5:10 pm
* I stood firm in my commitment to boycott the coronation of Obamessiah. The only part that was worth watching was replayed 100 times on the evening news. (When Obama stumbled through the oath.)
* I’m cheering for the Steelers, just on general principle because they’re from Pennsylvania. Too bad McNabb choked, I would have love to see a Keystone Bowl.
* I’ve given up on both liberals and conservatives, especially conservatives in Congress since none of them seem to have any principles. I’m firmly in the Libertarian camp now.
* Jack Bauer is the man! But I still think Law and Order is worth watching.
* Everybody on the Today Show is annoying. My wife knows to change the channel to FOX and Friends as soon as I walk into the room.
* Newspapers deserve to disappear. They’re all so liberal.
* I’m with you on Carter. He needs to sit down and shut up.
* The biggest Ponzi scheme in the world is still in operation — it’s called Social (In)Security!
A response to Whirled Views | New Trommetter Times said,
January 30, 2009 @ 8:48 pm
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