Could It Be? Yep! It’s a Rant!
By popular demand….another rant….
I wonder if any one has considered the possible consequences the rapture will have on the Chick-fil-A company. Just saying.
I got a fresh taste of how much some people loathe Obama when I heard someone say it would be better if Hillary was in the White House.
The wounds I’ve had inflicted on me by Christians have far exceeded in number and severity the wounds I’ve received from those who make no pretense of being believers.
There’s something oddly reassuring about watching the Kentucky Derby every year though I don’t gamble and I never watch another horse race throughout the year.
I really hate that commercial for McDonald’s where the tall self-absorbed, self-centered guy with scraggly hair refuses to speak to anyone until he get his precious coffee. Grow up, dude.
I also don’t understand how watching some guy paint pictures on his chest and belly is likely to sell medicine. Very odd.
The view of church varies dramatically depending on what side of the pulpit you find yourself.
The typical Christian school is clueless when it comes to communicating or even recognizing a Biblical Worldview.
I have more respect for an unshakable liberal like the late Ted Kennedy or even Barak Obama than I do for so-called “moderates” like Bart Stupak and Charlie Crist.
I’m frequently shocked by what some people are willing to share on Facebook. Amused and entertained — but still shocked.
I used to think that TV was a vast wasteland of insipidly shallow and childish drivel. Today, I know it.
The people who design drinking glasses have apparently never unloaded a dishwasher, otherwise they wouldn’t make the little indentation on the bottom of all their glasses that collects water and splashes everywhere when you are unloading the dishwasher and trying to put them on the shelf.
The Kindle may be the greatest invention thus far this century.
Why is it that I can earn more interest on my money in my sock drawer than I can at the bank and yet, they want to charge me 22% on my credit card bill?
Why are media companies willing to censor any negative portrayal of Mohammed, but always defend any so-called “artist” who wants to trash an image, the name of or the reputation of Jesus Christ?
I think the next time I’m surprised or disgusted about something, I’m going to exclaim or mutter, “Oh Mohammed!” or “Buddha, Mao and Joseph Smith!”.
Fajitas make me fahappy.
I like living in a part of the country that has four distinct seasons, but my very favorite season of all is Football Season.
It’s like the TV networks have basically given up on producing anything worth watching. YouTube shows far more creativity.
You can judge me if you like, but I enjoy Facebook.
The KFC Double Down “sandwich” is a delectable and naughty treat. And it will probably kill you faster than cigarettes.
Somebody should probably warn seminary students that many deacons and finance committee members can and will cuss you, fire you and lie about you if given the chance.
The hardest part of teaching seminary students is helping them get through their disappointment with church leadership and politics when they enter the ministry when they really thought the real battles were going to be waged by unbelievers.
I’ve always wondered why some entrepreneur hasn’t made a perfume that smells like pumpkin pie or apple dumplings or even gravy — cause I know those smells always get a guy’s attention. At least it always gets mine.
You read it here first, I believe that Hillary Clinton will be our next President. I’ll explain why in a future post.
If you don’t think most evangelicals are gullible and lacking in discernment, bring up “Glenn Beck” sometime and watch them get as flushed as a teenaged girl on her first date. Or simply say something negative about him — but caution, wear a flack jacket before attempting.
If you don’t follow Jon Acuff on Twitter — you’re missing about a dozen belly laughs a day. (Here’s the Blog)
By and large, most Americans consider one thing and one thing only when they are voting. The economy. Of course, I think that makes most of us political whores.
Frankly, I think for every church we start in this country, we should probably close one. Or at least quit calling them a “church”.
I’ve found that as a rule, if I go to a church that only has a one-word church name (besides the word “church”), I’m the oldest person in the room. And for the record, I don’t think it is any more “Biblical” or a sign of “relevancy” to have a church where everyone is younger than forty than it is unbiblical or “irrelevant” to have a church where every one is older than fifty.
There is not one single Republican that is acting like they might be interested in running for President in 2012 that makes me want to get excited about their prospects. Not one.
I think that Lady GaGa and Prince Poppycock should wear signs that say that they represent the low point of American pop culture. Are we even remotely capable of producing a Shakespeare or Milton or Bunyan in this generation? I think not.
I’m very grateful for Dollar Menus at fast food restaurants. May they always be.
One of these days, I hope someone rediscovers the word “Loyalty” and brushes it off and puts it back in our lexicon.
It’s my personal opinion that Rocheport shoes are the best shoes made. Does that make me old? Even if I have Rocheport flipflops?
My nest is 1/2 empty and I’m not loving that.
OK….enough for today. Maybe it won’t be nearly a year before I do this again. Feel free to add your rants or perspectives in the comment section.
Jason said,
September 15, 2010 @ 1:55 pm
There are about a dozen things I could respond to in your post, but I’ll save that for a post on my own blog, maybe.
There are exactly two Republicans that could get me excited enough to vote for them for President in 2012: Bobby Jindal and Jim DeMint.
Dan Burrell said,
September 15, 2010 @ 2:06 pm
I could get interested in DeMint — but I haven’t seen any indication that he’s considering running.
Your Sister said,
September 15, 2010 @ 3:02 pm
Since you said “feel free”, my particular rant today, and most any day that requires me to travel Interstate 70 in Central Missouri, is in regards to the drivers who fail to recognize beyond any sense of comprehension that there are actually two westbound lanes and two eastbound lanes for a reason….and that reason does not in any way, shape or form hold any truth to what I’m sure is a simple misunderstanding that the left-hand lane is called the “optional driving lane.” What adds to my annoyance that people actually perceive the left-hand lane as an optional driving lane is the fact that most of these happy-go-lucky, peace-loving, not-a-care-in-the-world motor vehicle operators are perfectly content driving a good ten miles an hour under the speed limit mile upon mile upon mile in the “optional driving lane” until someone has the audacity to actually attempt to pass them (usually by merely going the speed limit) in the true-to-life, right-hand driving lane. This act immediately transforms them into full-blown lunatics who take the entire thing entirely too personally and decide to fulfill their deeply hidden lifelong dream to become a NASCAR driver while riding my bumper (at speeds in excess of a number I will refrain from posting on here in the event my mother is reading this), while simutaneously screaming obscenties and displaying an unidentified finger in a very unattractive manner. Grow up, people…it’s called the “passing lane” for a reason.
Ahhh….now I see why you post these periodically
martha carter said,
September 15, 2010 @ 3:07 pm
DeMint is running. Woohoo!
melanie said,
September 15, 2010 @ 3:58 pm
“I have more respect for an unshakable liberal like the late Ted Kennedy or even Barak Obama than I do for so-called “moderates” like Bart Stupak and Charlie Crist.” Totally agree…I would like to add Lindsay Graham, Karl Rove, Gingrich, etc…
What is up with the men in our Republican Party? None of them have the backbone to bring back conservative principles. I’m personally very excited about the women that are now stirring it up. I’d take any of them for our next president.
Hillary as the next president? No way! (respectfully) It will be a woman but not a liberal.
Josh said,
September 15, 2010 @ 5:13 pm
Please clarify the statement on Glenn Beck. I will understand if a little better if you are talking from a spiritual standpoint. But isn’t it amazing that it takes a Mormon on TV and a Muslim in the White House to get America to finally look back to God.
John the Baptist said,
September 15, 2010 @ 5:24 pm
I agree that it will be Hillary and have been saying so for month, most disagree with me. I pray you and I are worng, but am afraid we aren’t.
Love the rants
Dan Burrell said,
September 15, 2010 @ 5:26 pm
Yes, Josh. My point is that evangelicals are quicker to listen to a cultist (Mormon) give a call for spiritual revival than their own pastors. The “god” of the Mormons and Glenn Beck is not the God of Jews and Christians. But because he’s a political conservative, Republican leaning, talk-show guru — evangelicals all over are tripping over themselves to buy his books, watch his shows, attend his rallies — AS IF the road to spiritual renewal for this nation has anything at all to do with politics and it has even less to do with Mormonism. Satan always leads people astray by giving them a counterfeit to worship or follow after.
Mark Standridge said,
September 15, 2010 @ 5:27 pm
Dan, I agree with you on many points. I like that word poppycock, that’s how I would describe our political situation today. That goes for both sides of the aisle. Would love to hear someone say we are not going to spend more than we make, that’s just for starters. The church situation, problems both from the pew as well as the pulpit. The church on the whole is in deep debt just like our nation. Money always affects the church politics. I have found more so call loyality runing my own bussiness, which honesty, is affected my money. The old you strach my back I will yours. So is that loyality guess not. I like my fathers words to me. If you make one or two real friends in a lifetime you will have done well. Dan you may not know this, but I enjoy your writing. I hope you are able to find your next role.
Justo M. Moreira said,
September 15, 2010 @ 6:49 pm
I loved your rant. Wlecome back and keep it going.
“Somebody should probably warn seminary students that many deacons and finance committee members can and will cuss you, fire you and lie about you if given the chance.” AMEN to that!! Very true.
By the way, isn’t the Bible specific about the requirements for a deacon?
Josh said,
September 15, 2010 @ 11:21 pm
Dan, But in order for spiritual renewal we do need God in our politics. Do you think that God could use Beck? Have you seen,the episode dedicated to salvation by grace through Jesus.
Jason Harris said,
September 16, 2010 @ 1:34 am
Looks like someone needs to join Twitter.
Diane Heeney said,
September 16, 2010 @ 2:40 am
Dan, your link for Acuff’s blog is not good. It took me to “Mutton Hollow Chevy’s”…?
FYI
Glad you are fahappy.
Dan Burrell said,
September 16, 2010 @ 8:39 am
Thanks, Diane….I just fixed it. (What, you didn’t want to buy a Chevy?)
Watchman said,
September 16, 2010 @ 1:42 pm
I think you left out the “t” in fahappy…
Dan Burrell said,
September 16, 2010 @ 4:39 pm
Hilarious, “Watchman”!
Les Ismore said,
September 16, 2010 @ 9:26 pm
“t’s my personal opinion that Rocheport shoes are the best shoes made. Does that make me old? Even if I have Rocheport flipflops?”
I like Bruno Magli. I also sincerely think that OJ is innocent and that the jury made the right decision. The love of a father for his children is incredible. I can’t prove this, but I think the son, Jason, is really the guilty party and OJ covered for him.
Ted said,
September 20, 2010 @ 10:51 am
Josh, your error is in assuming that politics has any bearing on spiritual renewal. Dan, the so-called “rapture” is an evangelical hoax, so Chik-fil-a will be fine.
Pam said,
September 30, 2010 @ 7:36 pm
Re: Amen!
And the indentations in the bottom of glasses have irked me for ages…I hate spilling water on my feet while unloading the dishwasher!
Great eclectic list.